Delaney Glass offered me a really interesting piece of subject matter on Facebook today:
http://mormonwomenbare.com/
And here were my comments:
Hmm. I feel interpretation of how virtue should be valued is up to the individual, so I'm not shocked or appalled by what these women are doing like I know some people would be.
I personally am not a huge fan of it, because I don't believe that the Church places women's ultimate value on virtue, which is why this project exists. I love that women's bodies are shown as "natural and diverse", and if the goal was just to decrease body shame in people everywhere - I'd totally agree. But the assertion that Mormon women have a special layer of expectations to meet - I just don't agree with it. In fact, I believe just the opposite. The reason I love my religion so much is because, the way I see it, everyone has infinite worth and is valued regardless of their choices - this is very obvious when you see how good Mormon men treat women - like princesses, daughters of God, which is what I believe we are. (Not to mention the whole "bodies are temples" thing - they're a beautiful gift given to us that we should embrace in every form, something this project suggests the Church does the opposite of.) God is an all-loving God, and our value doesn't depreciate based on our choices. This project, while well-meaning, suggests that Mormonism as a whole believes women are less valuable depending on their choices regarding sex, that "their bodies are not entirely their own", that modesty is a means of "shaming" and the like.
I wrote a blog post about this, actually. The whole "modesty exists because of the male gaze" thing. While culturally, there are a lot of people who DO do these things, I don't think it's the fault of the religion. I'm very quick to point out the difference between Mormon culture and theology, because I acknowledge that this IS a problem in a lot of circles. I personally practice modesty because it's more comfortable, because I like the mystery of keeping things under wraps and only certain people knowing what's there, and also just because it's a part of the religion I practice - meaning I do it for God, not because I want to keep boys from looking at me. I personally practice abstinence because I've learned the hard way that it protects me - and that it's what I want in the long run. This doesn't diminish my libido, and I feel no shame about being a sexual being, because that's how I was made. But I control that out of a greater desire - rather than repressing to conform to a norm or expectation.
Another thing that's important to look at is what "virtue" is. Virtue to me (and what I've picked up from being Mormon) is purity in entirety, not just sexual purity, and it's not a concrete thing that you can have or not have. Godliness, I guess you could say.
They're all beautiful though, and it breaks my heart to think that at some point they didn't know that. And that several left the Church that has brought me so much strength and happiness because people made them think they didn't own their own bodies. That's definitely one thing that pisses me off. How many people get so battered and mistreated by other people in a church that's supposed to dust them off and protect them. However, I can't really do anything to fix it besides be a force for good. All churches are made of imperfect people, and to expect them to run them perfectly is to have way too high an expectation ever to be met.
It's something that I really care about, for sure. If I could make everyone know just how wonderful and beautiful and worth more than anything they are, I would.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now let me elaborate some more on my personal experience with LDS culture and how I feel about me. Preface: this is extremely personal. Read with caution.
1. Growing up, I didn't feel like a princess of infinite worth. My Young Women's leaders consistently told me I should, my other church leaders tried to instill this in me, etc. - which is why I think it's bogus that people say LDS people in general put women down (e.g. first states to give women the vote were largely LDS states, etc.). But I watched my mother intensely critique her own body (and sometimes mine), I watched my father say those same things to her, and I never really had a concrete example of this immensely loving Priesthood holder who prized the woman in his life above everything else - none of the Prophets were directly in my life. (Yeah, sorry parents if you don't want me putting these things on the internet. But I'm actually not sorry. I feel I have every right to tell my own story, and I hope I never try to take this back when I have my own children and they do the same. I know you're not perfect and I don't expect you to be (anymore). But for the record, dad, I know you rant publicly on Facebook about my mother with great bias, which is extraordinarily mature; mom - you do the same to me in person, so again. I refuse to hide anything. I love you anyway, and I think you love me even though I'm screwed up too. At least I hope so.) One of the big reasons I was agnostic for 3 years and completely didn't believe in the church is that I saw a disconnect - my dad was a Bishop, a High Priest, etc. and I knew how he acted at home, and I did NOT think that God would have let someone make those choices while still being in an office of authority. One of the great realizations I had that made me choose to be LDS, though, is that people ARE NOT PERFECT. The Church is made up of those imperfect people. Some of our trials on Earth are dealing with those imperfect people doing terrible things to us and still believing in that gospel; recognizing that there is, in fact, a disparity between the religion and the people who run it. Anyway, like I said, I was relying too much on my parents' and others' perfection to believe I was more than good enough as is. Valuable just for existing.
2. Over time, I've seen that there are men who love their wives more than anything, and show it. I've cried publicly just watching dads hold their kids and seeing the facial expression they've got, or seeing husbands hold their wives' hands and look at them like they're what's right in the universe. I've experienced real love first hand (for a little while) as well. I've recognized that bodies aren't even KIND OF perfect - as a rule. Not just mine, everyone's. While I'm not a huge fan of gaining weight and stretchmarks and tan lines and everything else LIKE EVERYONE ELSE - I've come to a point where I love my body and I love me and all the things I can do. One of the things that keeps me strong in that knowledge is that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me more than I can comprehend, even when it seems like no one else does. And that eventually I can have a husband who loves me like the ones I've seen. Which leads to why I love marriage and practice abstinence. I am SO excited to find someone who digs me just how I am and I think they're rad as is and we can be a two-person team against everything else forever. Does that not sound fantastic? To me that sounds like the ultimate achievement. Finding that person and then bringing more people into the world with that most excellent person. The reason for abstinence until joining that team is because it saves me the heartbreak of opening up fully to the wrong person, not to mention sharing a bond that no one else in the universe would have with me. This doesn't discredit or devalue others for their choices regarding sex - or my previous, DEFINITELY not perfect choices. WE ARE NOT LESS AWESOME BECAUSE WE'RE IMPERFECT (it's just easier on your heart when you make protective choices - which is what I believe the LDS church is all about). Baby, we were born this way. And someday we will be.
So with that in mind, PLEASE KNOW YOU ARE SO ABSOLUTELY, FANTASTICALLY BEAUTIFUL IT BLOWS LOGIC OUT THE WINDOW. YOU ARE AN AMAZING HUMAN BEING CAPABLE OF INFINITE PROGRESSION AND FULL OF POTENTIAL. LEARNING IS IMPORTANT, LOVING IS IMPORTANT, STICKING AROUND ON EARTH AND NOT GIVING UP BECAUSE YOU ARE SO. FUCKING. EXCELLENT. IS IMPORTANT AND THERE IS AT LEAST ONE PERSON WHO REALLY, TRULY LOVES YOU - EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. It really sucks when I see people (including myself) not living up to that. Or at least trying. If there is ANY way I can make at least one person know that, I'll have lived a damn good life.
<3 Moriah.
[Yes there were swear words in that last paragraph. Like I said, not perfect, and they're spicy and shock-value filled enough to try to get my point across.]
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Journal Entries Now Too? For Real?
10/31/13
In honors chemistry today (note that these are honors students in a science class), someone was wearing a paper taped on his shirt that said “Affordable Care Act” – touting it (being a Democrat) as the scariest costume he could think of. Some other kid says, “Is the Affordable Care Act Republican and Obamacare is… Democrat?” Kid in the costume cannot answer this question, and instead starts with, “The Affordable Care Act is a leftist thinking, bordering on socialism, that’s going to destroy this country…” Another girl goes, “I hate you; you’re destroying my future job in the medical field.” Of course, none of them could explain any of their reasoning. I answered the girl’s question that the ACA and Obamacare are the same thing, repressed a very tempting eye roll, and sat down, while everyone had a party/healthcare reform bashing party.
Welcome to Idaho, Moriah.
What really bothers me is that I take the time to LEARN about the world, and about things that are important, and I'm still doing terribly grades-wise. I read non-fiction for fun, guys. But the collegiate system - at least at Boise State - is centered around info regurgitation and busy work - everything I hated about the shallowness of high school. I had such high expectations for higher education (I wonder why) and they've been torn down to say the least. The only classes I have now that I like are Music 100 and Forensics, and I LOVE science and math. So that says something. Why can't there be a place where we THINK about things, and their significance to the world and our own lives? Why is chemistry, a subject that I love, so monotonous and bland instead of really getting into what's so cool about it all? 15 hours of math problems a week = just training us to be robots, rather than conceptual and critical thinkers, and this conversation above shows some of that lack of critical thinking/info gathering. 18-20-SOMETHINGS! STOP ACCEPTING EVERYTHING FOX NEWS/INSERT OTHER BIASED NEWS SOURCE HERE SAYS AT FACE VALUE! GO LEARN ABOUT CITY COUNCIL CANDIDATES AND VOTE INFORMED BECAUSE LOCAL POLITICS ARE WHAT MATTER DAMMIT! LEARN FOR THE SAKE OF LEARNING INSTEAD OF FOR THE SAKE OF A SET GPA!
I'm very ready to just scrape by in college and do all of my learning outside of school if this is all it is.
11/01/13
In honors seminar today we watched a video called My Last Days about a kid with cancer who lived his life to the fullest before he went (that’s a really rudimentary summary, but you know, whatever). I was told to write a reflection of what I would do given a limited amount of time to live, so here it is:
I would drop everything and find some way to do nothing but travel and volunteer and be with people. I could join the Peace Corps, or WWOOF, or go on a mission, or train to be a medic and go help people who don’t have access to healthcare. I’d want to learn about other cultures and how to survive in less than industrial ideal conditions, because surviving something as hard as finding water and shelter would make me feel stronger and more connected to others who have to live that every day. I’d help my little siblings with homework, and babysit for free for people who desperately need a date night, and keep people who were also terminal company.
The thing that’s important in thinking about this is that it’s how I should be living every day. Life is so short and so finite; I could be gone at any time. I don’t want that time to be wasted with Facebook and such when I could be impacting other people’s lives far more than I am at the moment. Happiness comes from selflessness. I control my response to hard times, my attitude, and ultimately my happiness.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Death
It's an optimistic title, really.
No. No it's not. Not in the world we live in where people die every second of every day, most by no fault of their own, and leave families and friends behind with fragmented memories of who they are and what happened when they were alive.
I personally am so attached to people that I cannot even tolerate the idea of there being no afterlife. If you so believe, I am genuinely impressed with your ability to keep on keeping on. I am currently bawling like a two year old who had their Cheerios stolen over The Fault in Our Stars, and I rarely cry about books. If I knew for a fact that there was no afterlife, and I could not hold on to that hope - that desperate hope fueled by my own lack of knowledge, that drives my love for science because it is NOT KNOWING and searching for answers anyway - I would be in pieces everyday. Or worse, I would be selfish and take my own life, because I just couldn't handle knowing that people I loved were gone forever. Every suicide ever committed would be selfish, and I would be one of those selfish assholes, so I could just cease to exist and not have to tolerate loss.
The only reason I'm not sad when people die is that I do think life continues after. I didn't cry because I was sad my great-grandfather was gone when he left (the only person in my family or in my life that I've admired/known well enough to REALLY care that he was gone), in the same way I don't cry when people move. I can see them again. Time moves much faster than we give it credit for. What made me cry for a few days straight was seeing his lovely wife, who I just visited earlier this month (Who kicked my tail at Yahtzee, in her late nineties. Please, God, let me grow up to be like her.), look at him during the viewing. I obviously can't know what she was thinking, and I don't have the heart to ask, but she just looked like... someone who'd been deserted. Like he'd left her alone. I cry any time anyone else mourns because it's THEIR sadness that makes me upset. Not that the person is temporarily gone. It absolutely breaks my heart to see them in that sort of pain, because I know how I would be in that state - and everyone I've watched handles it so much better than me.
So here I am, thoroughly destroying a box of Puffs, because a fictional sixteen year old girl has to speak at her first love's funeral, with no confidence in any sort of afterlife. No Something with a capital S at the very least, for those of you who've read it. It's also because the boy she's mourning was obsessed with being some sort of globally important person before leaving the globe, the same way I am sometimes. (Who am I kidding, nearly all the time. I just want to save the world. Is that too much to ask?) Which made full realization smack me in my very rosy face: if I really believe in an eternal conception of time, why am I so hurried to reach my full potential? Why do I care so much about my serious imperfection? It's not restricted to 90-some years. I have until *insert humanly inconceivable amount of time here*. There's no rush. I don't need to get so down on myself when I make mistakes, because the wisdom I gain from them are far more valuable than the time they consume. Neither time nor money are goals that can be realistically achieved in this life. They're means to the end, not ends in and of themselves. It's something that people "know" but I don't think they really KNOW. The sort of thing we say but don't truly understand or believe. (Unless there's a select elite that is living a wonderfully chill life most would envy, which I'm sure there is.)
By the way, I finished the book. It's the best kind of book, in that the characters have the same sort of realization right after I do, and everything is right in the world. The sentence is finished.
No. No it's not. Not in the world we live in where people die every second of every day, most by no fault of their own, and leave families and friends behind with fragmented memories of who they are and what happened when they were alive.
I personally am so attached to people that I cannot even tolerate the idea of there being no afterlife. If you so believe, I am genuinely impressed with your ability to keep on keeping on. I am currently bawling like a two year old who had their Cheerios stolen over The Fault in Our Stars, and I rarely cry about books. If I knew for a fact that there was no afterlife, and I could not hold on to that hope - that desperate hope fueled by my own lack of knowledge, that drives my love for science because it is NOT KNOWING and searching for answers anyway - I would be in pieces everyday. Or worse, I would be selfish and take my own life, because I just couldn't handle knowing that people I loved were gone forever. Every suicide ever committed would be selfish, and I would be one of those selfish assholes, so I could just cease to exist and not have to tolerate loss.
The only reason I'm not sad when people die is that I do think life continues after. I didn't cry because I was sad my great-grandfather was gone when he left (the only person in my family or in my life that I've admired/known well enough to REALLY care that he was gone), in the same way I don't cry when people move. I can see them again. Time moves much faster than we give it credit for. What made me cry for a few days straight was seeing his lovely wife, who I just visited earlier this month (Who kicked my tail at Yahtzee, in her late nineties. Please, God, let me grow up to be like her.), look at him during the viewing. I obviously can't know what she was thinking, and I don't have the heart to ask, but she just looked like... someone who'd been deserted. Like he'd left her alone. I cry any time anyone else mourns because it's THEIR sadness that makes me upset. Not that the person is temporarily gone. It absolutely breaks my heart to see them in that sort of pain, because I know how I would be in that state - and everyone I've watched handles it so much better than me.
So here I am, thoroughly destroying a box of Puffs, because a fictional sixteen year old girl has to speak at her first love's funeral, with no confidence in any sort of afterlife. No Something with a capital S at the very least, for those of you who've read it. It's also because the boy she's mourning was obsessed with being some sort of globally important person before leaving the globe, the same way I am sometimes. (Who am I kidding, nearly all the time. I just want to save the world. Is that too much to ask?) Which made full realization smack me in my very rosy face: if I really believe in an eternal conception of time, why am I so hurried to reach my full potential? Why do I care so much about my serious imperfection? It's not restricted to 90-some years. I have until *insert humanly inconceivable amount of time here*. There's no rush. I don't need to get so down on myself when I make mistakes, because the wisdom I gain from them are far more valuable than the time they consume. Neither time nor money are goals that can be realistically achieved in this life. They're means to the end, not ends in and of themselves. It's something that people "know" but I don't think they really KNOW. The sort of thing we say but don't truly understand or believe. (Unless there's a select elite that is living a wonderfully chill life most would envy, which I'm sure there is.)
By the way, I finished the book. It's the best kind of book, in that the characters have the same sort of realization right after I do, and everything is right in the world. The sentence is finished.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
A Thought on Socialization and Transitioning to the Real World: Women in STEM Edition
When I don't have other things to do, I think, and I read. Lately, I've been reading articles online (as always, this particular one about genetic influence on intelligence, or rather, conventional IQ intelligence), and Half the Sky, by Kristof and WuDunn. (Yes I actually read recommended reading for school. It usually ends up on my list of favorites. This one is about taking oppression of women and turning it around as a solution to the world's many, MANY issues.) This combination of reading has lead to a "wondering" or two, one might say. Some that I've had in the back of my mind for a while.
What happened to me?
What can we do for girls in the future?
What can we do for women (including myself) now?
Before someone immediately dismisses what I have to say, I'm going to offer a preface. I strongly believe that everyone has immense amounts of natural talent, just in different areas, to serve different purposes. When I talk about mine, I don't mean to come off conceited or anything like it, because I could point out yours as well. I just want to offer an example of what I see as a widespread problem. Now onto the story.
When I was little, I blew the tops off of standardized testing. That's just what I was good at. I still kind of do. There are definitely people who have trouble with tests, but it's just something I'm gifted with, if I've ever learned the material. I also learned "book smarts" very quickly. Grade level classes bored me senseless. But when I read the books off of my parents' shelves, I knew what kinds of things I liked. I liked science, I liked medicine, I liked logic puzzles. Lots of other things too, like poetry, but especially those. I pretty much knew the anatomy of the human body when I was 7. It was hard to go to school and know that my friends didn't care about those things. All they cared about in school was achievement, rather than learning. Having good grades, getting awards, etc. Don't get me wrong, I wanted that too, but I also cared about the learning aspect. It broke my heart when kids got awards for having more AR points than me by having their moms read to them when I was reading chapter books by myself. Nonfiction ones, frequently. We were just never on the same sheet of music.
The best and worst thing that ever happened, school-wise, was when I skipped a grade in science and math in middle school. The school pretty much refused to skip me initially (and it had been like that for years) because, well, WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT? THAT WOULD BE HARD AND I'M A GIRL. I got into high school level math, though, and honors biology, and I was finally learning material I hadn't heard before. It was still easy, but it was at least new. Unfortunately, my entire high school career after that pretty much sucked. Long story short, lost a million credits, took a million more, and after taking and retaking courses and graduating a year later than I should've, I've realized a lot of my zest for SCHOOL learning is gone. A lot of my perceived natural intelligence is too, because I haven't had time to nurture it.
I don't regret my life, because now I know I have to rely on hard work AND talent to get things done, but there are still some problems I see with this story that can be fixed on a social level:
A. How we socialize girls in their formative years.
I was lucky enough to have a mother pursuing medicine, so there was plenty of literature and example around for me, but there are SO MANY GIRLS who lost out on the idea that they could make science or math a career choice. They played in kitchens in kindergarten stations, bought Barbie dolls, and played MASH. Little did any of us know that the future world would be a place where (in many cases) both the men and women have to work. Why should girls settle for a last ditch secretary job or a "photography business on the side" if they really wanted to create things and cure people? I am here to tell you that there was far too little exposure to hard learning as a child, and that there were far too few girls who were treated like they really could be the President or cure cancer. We were just to get good grades for the virtue of achieving in school. There was NO stress on the idea of finding out what one loves to do. There were NO avenues to even FIGURE THAT OUT. THERE WAS NO INFORMATION AVAILABLE IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR MOTHER'S PHYSIOLOGY BOOKS AT HOME. Boys have the expectation from very early on that they'll have to get a full time job, but girls are seemingly in limbo until late high school. It's like creating a career path isn't even a thing until you have to pick a college major, for them. Not cool.
B. The K-12 school system, and our attitude toward what is valuable when learning and applying things.
With that, I am not okay with the system we have in public schools in the great old USA. Having kids regurgitating information and rewarding book work/memorization with points is absurd. Keeping them in a cinder block prison of fluorescent lighting, sitting on their bums, for 8 hours, is not the way to do it. I watched field trips gradually disappear from school as I grew up, and that sucks, because they're some of my fondest memories. WE AREN'T LEARNING ANYTHING USEFUL ANYMORE. I've pretty much set it in stone that my children will not be attending traditional public schools. They'll learn whatever they're interested in. I'll answer their questions. They can go to museums and take college courses in whatever they want. They won't just sit watching sitcoms, but they can read articles online like I do. They can watch PBS, go to the library, etc. They can participate in any and every "extracurricular" they want, because THAT'S valuable learning. There's no sense in shoving things down children's throats that they don't want to create into a lifelong love/career/hobby. I literally have had times where I didn't have time to learn what I wanted to learn because I was too busy repairing lost credit in things I already knew or DIDN'T want to learn. That whole experience has left a bad taste in my mouth. The aftertaste of public schools is like milk half an hour later.
C. How we treat women in their breakout years.
At orientation for school, there were two people sitting at the Chemistry table, including me. The other one was male. This, of course, is a product of the former two problems. We all know that women are a "minority" in STEM careers. I have brochures that say so. The question is why we're making it so hard for there NOT to be a minority, if there are so few, when women contribute so much. I feel like the biggest reason women give up on their dreams is that they believe they're to be the largest shareholder in child-stock, and when their work doesn't make concessions, they do. Family needs to be incorporated into the workplace, for men as well, but especially for women. They should be allowed to breastfeed at work, daycares should be located within a short walking distance or within the building, if women so choose to put their children in daycare. Leave! Needs to be longer! More part time work in the hard sciences should be available, and school should also be more considerate of the family woman. We're in a new era, one in which grocery stores, washers/dryers, and robot vacuums exist. There isn't any more constant work for the woman at home. Housewifery isn't really an option.
I'd expand more, and likely will, but seeing as it's after midnight, this'll have to do. I'll try to write more often, too. ;)
Toodles!
-Moriah
What happened to me?
What can we do for girls in the future?
What can we do for women (including myself) now?
Before someone immediately dismisses what I have to say, I'm going to offer a preface. I strongly believe that everyone has immense amounts of natural talent, just in different areas, to serve different purposes. When I talk about mine, I don't mean to come off conceited or anything like it, because I could point out yours as well. I just want to offer an example of what I see as a widespread problem. Now onto the story.
When I was little, I blew the tops off of standardized testing. That's just what I was good at. I still kind of do. There are definitely people who have trouble with tests, but it's just something I'm gifted with, if I've ever learned the material. I also learned "book smarts" very quickly. Grade level classes bored me senseless. But when I read the books off of my parents' shelves, I knew what kinds of things I liked. I liked science, I liked medicine, I liked logic puzzles. Lots of other things too, like poetry, but especially those. I pretty much knew the anatomy of the human body when I was 7. It was hard to go to school and know that my friends didn't care about those things. All they cared about in school was achievement, rather than learning. Having good grades, getting awards, etc. Don't get me wrong, I wanted that too, but I also cared about the learning aspect. It broke my heart when kids got awards for having more AR points than me by having their moms read to them when I was reading chapter books by myself. Nonfiction ones, frequently. We were just never on the same sheet of music.
The best and worst thing that ever happened, school-wise, was when I skipped a grade in science and math in middle school. The school pretty much refused to skip me initially (and it had been like that for years) because, well, WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT? THAT WOULD BE HARD AND I'M A GIRL. I got into high school level math, though, and honors biology, and I was finally learning material I hadn't heard before. It was still easy, but it was at least new. Unfortunately, my entire high school career after that pretty much sucked. Long story short, lost a million credits, took a million more, and after taking and retaking courses and graduating a year later than I should've, I've realized a lot of my zest for SCHOOL learning is gone. A lot of my perceived natural intelligence is too, because I haven't had time to nurture it.
I don't regret my life, because now I know I have to rely on hard work AND talent to get things done, but there are still some problems I see with this story that can be fixed on a social level:
A. How we socialize girls in their formative years.
I was lucky enough to have a mother pursuing medicine, so there was plenty of literature and example around for me, but there are SO MANY GIRLS who lost out on the idea that they could make science or math a career choice. They played in kitchens in kindergarten stations, bought Barbie dolls, and played MASH. Little did any of us know that the future world would be a place where (in many cases) both the men and women have to work. Why should girls settle for a last ditch secretary job or a "photography business on the side" if they really wanted to create things and cure people? I am here to tell you that there was far too little exposure to hard learning as a child, and that there were far too few girls who were treated like they really could be the President or cure cancer. We were just to get good grades for the virtue of achieving in school. There was NO stress on the idea of finding out what one loves to do. There were NO avenues to even FIGURE THAT OUT. THERE WAS NO INFORMATION AVAILABLE IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR MOTHER'S PHYSIOLOGY BOOKS AT HOME. Boys have the expectation from very early on that they'll have to get a full time job, but girls are seemingly in limbo until late high school. It's like creating a career path isn't even a thing until you have to pick a college major, for them. Not cool.
B. The K-12 school system, and our attitude toward what is valuable when learning and applying things.
With that, I am not okay with the system we have in public schools in the great old USA. Having kids regurgitating information and rewarding book work/memorization with points is absurd. Keeping them in a cinder block prison of fluorescent lighting, sitting on their bums, for 8 hours, is not the way to do it. I watched field trips gradually disappear from school as I grew up, and that sucks, because they're some of my fondest memories. WE AREN'T LEARNING ANYTHING USEFUL ANYMORE. I've pretty much set it in stone that my children will not be attending traditional public schools. They'll learn whatever they're interested in. I'll answer their questions. They can go to museums and take college courses in whatever they want. They won't just sit watching sitcoms, but they can read articles online like I do. They can watch PBS, go to the library, etc. They can participate in any and every "extracurricular" they want, because THAT'S valuable learning. There's no sense in shoving things down children's throats that they don't want to create into a lifelong love/career/hobby. I literally have had times where I didn't have time to learn what I wanted to learn because I was too busy repairing lost credit in things I already knew or DIDN'T want to learn. That whole experience has left a bad taste in my mouth. The aftertaste of public schools is like milk half an hour later.
C. How we treat women in their breakout years.
At orientation for school, there were two people sitting at the Chemistry table, including me. The other one was male. This, of course, is a product of the former two problems. We all know that women are a "minority" in STEM careers. I have brochures that say so. The question is why we're making it so hard for there NOT to be a minority, if there are so few, when women contribute so much. I feel like the biggest reason women give up on their dreams is that they believe they're to be the largest shareholder in child-stock, and when their work doesn't make concessions, they do. Family needs to be incorporated into the workplace, for men as well, but especially for women. They should be allowed to breastfeed at work, daycares should be located within a short walking distance or within the building, if women so choose to put their children in daycare. Leave! Needs to be longer! More part time work in the hard sciences should be available, and school should also be more considerate of the family woman. We're in a new era, one in which grocery stores, washers/dryers, and robot vacuums exist. There isn't any more constant work for the woman at home. Housewifery isn't really an option.
I'd expand more, and likely will, but seeing as it's after midnight, this'll have to do. I'll try to write more often, too. ;)
Toodles!
-Moriah
Thursday, May 30, 2013
I'm Moriah, and I'm a Feminist
Now before you get your panties and/or boxers in a twist, I am not a lipstick feminist, a new wave feminist, etc. I don't burn my bras, I don't hate men, I don't think women are BETTER than men. I follow the classical path and think that women should have equal rights and opportunities wherever possible (whether they choose to take them or not) and be respected for their skills. Ain't that a crazy idea. It's been around for hundreds of years and people still can't seem to absorb it. Anyway, on to the real topic of this post.
I'm more than glad I started this blog so I don't get preachy on other people's Facebook posts. Not because their opinion is wrong, opinions can't be wrong, but there's usually something that greatly concerns me therein. And Facebook for most people is a terrible arena to offer life-related information, ironically. So here, people can read what I think if they choose, and if not, they can go on their merry way not knowing anything about how I see the world and also not being irritated by it. In this post's case, the inspiration was an article linked by Josie Rigby about modesty, a very obvious aspect of LDS culture/the gospel. (Article Here) Like I said, I respect everyone who agrees with the author's point of view, but I take a VERRRYYYYY different stance.
In the piece, there are some good points, like supporting women who wear modest swimwear by noting that they don't do it out of self-consciousness, but out of self-respect. That I totally agree with. That's why I wear one-pieces most of the time. I have respect for my very... voluptuous body and accept that it's easier and more practical to wear one-pieces. But 1. I have no problem with girls wearing less if they so choose, because to me, the stomach isn't a very sexual organ, and it is THEIR CHOICE. 2. People as stacked as me wear bikinis all the time, so I could do it, I just don't want to, because I'd fall all out of it.
The points I really didn't agree with, I'll elaborate on individually.
A. That it's a sacrifice, because bikinis are cute/people want to wear bikinis. (Whether it should be a sacrifice is what I focus on.)
B. That we should dress modestly to help the very visual boys out.
A. I really don't think it should be a sacrifice. I don't want to wear bikinis. If I did, I would. It's not self-respect if you'd rather be wearing something else, it's personal subjugation to say you have self respect. And it's putting down other girls who do have self respect but choose to wear bikinis by suggesting that you have to wear a one-piece or tankini to respect your body. If you're being modest because of religion it STILL shouldn't be a sacrifice. If following commandments is your goal, then do it wholeheartedly, don't wish you were able to do something else, jeez. If someone truly understood the reason behind a modesty clause in any religion, they wouldn't even want to wear what most of society wears. I feel like if you don't do things for love of God or real understanding of why they're in place, that you're just going through the movements - checking off followed rules, if you will.
B. This is a dangerous idea. Mortally terrifying, actually. The idea that women should dress for men placed into any context scares the living daylights out of me. Here's why.
- This turns into the argument that rape victims are to blame because they dressed "provocatively" and thereby "deserved it" and other such arguments. Like that women should be stoned or have acid thrown in their face.
- This makes men look like incapable of self-control, carnal beings who just want all the sex all the time. I know in my heart that guys who are taught well CAN control themselves, and everyone else making a bad name for them is being pacified by this idea.
- Guys put just as much on display on the beach! Literally every attractive body part they have! Frequently their pants are down low enough to see landscaping! NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THIS. Why are men the only sexual beings in this world? They want women to be good in bed and keep it coming during marriage but don't accept that they see things too. No one tells them to put a shirt on. You know WHY no one tells them? Because they're men. They're in charge of who tells people what. The other reason? Because women have self control and can handle people doing what they want. Get with the program, men. This makes you look bad, not us. I know you can do it.
- *See post about slut shaming* I've already spoken a little about this earlier in this post, and in others. WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE JUDGED (whether thought of as bad people, or speculated about as far as sexual activity) FOR WHAT THEY CHOOSE TO PUT ON THEIR BODY. Gosh.
Summary of what SHOULD happen?
Ladies, wear whatever swimwear you want. But don't tell other people what to wear. And don't do it because you want to support supposed male inadequacy. Or because you feel forced to.
Guys, get a spine and self-control, if you don't have it, and if you do, use it proudly. And feel free to wear a shirt at the beach if you expect modesty out of women. Two way street, people.
Have a lovely day,
Moriah
I'm more than glad I started this blog so I don't get preachy on other people's Facebook posts. Not because their opinion is wrong, opinions can't be wrong, but there's usually something that greatly concerns me therein. And Facebook for most people is a terrible arena to offer life-related information, ironically. So here, people can read what I think if they choose, and if not, they can go on their merry way not knowing anything about how I see the world and also not being irritated by it. In this post's case, the inspiration was an article linked by Josie Rigby about modesty, a very obvious aspect of LDS culture/the gospel. (Article Here) Like I said, I respect everyone who agrees with the author's point of view, but I take a VERRRYYYYY different stance.
In the piece, there are some good points, like supporting women who wear modest swimwear by noting that they don't do it out of self-consciousness, but out of self-respect. That I totally agree with. That's why I wear one-pieces most of the time. I have respect for my very... voluptuous body and accept that it's easier and more practical to wear one-pieces. But 1. I have no problem with girls wearing less if they so choose, because to me, the stomach isn't a very sexual organ, and it is THEIR CHOICE. 2. People as stacked as me wear bikinis all the time, so I could do it, I just don't want to, because I'd fall all out of it.
The points I really didn't agree with, I'll elaborate on individually.
A. That it's a sacrifice, because bikinis are cute/people want to wear bikinis. (Whether it should be a sacrifice is what I focus on.)
B. That we should dress modestly to help the very visual boys out.
A. I really don't think it should be a sacrifice. I don't want to wear bikinis. If I did, I would. It's not self-respect if you'd rather be wearing something else, it's personal subjugation to say you have self respect. And it's putting down other girls who do have self respect but choose to wear bikinis by suggesting that you have to wear a one-piece or tankini to respect your body. If you're being modest because of religion it STILL shouldn't be a sacrifice. If following commandments is your goal, then do it wholeheartedly, don't wish you were able to do something else, jeez. If someone truly understood the reason behind a modesty clause in any religion, they wouldn't even want to wear what most of society wears. I feel like if you don't do things for love of God or real understanding of why they're in place, that you're just going through the movements - checking off followed rules, if you will.
B. This is a dangerous idea. Mortally terrifying, actually. The idea that women should dress for men placed into any context scares the living daylights out of me. Here's why.
- This turns into the argument that rape victims are to blame because they dressed "provocatively" and thereby "deserved it" and other such arguments. Like that women should be stoned or have acid thrown in their face.
- This makes men look like incapable of self-control, carnal beings who just want all the sex all the time. I know in my heart that guys who are taught well CAN control themselves, and everyone else making a bad name for them is being pacified by this idea.
- Guys put just as much on display on the beach! Literally every attractive body part they have! Frequently their pants are down low enough to see landscaping! NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THIS. Why are men the only sexual beings in this world? They want women to be good in bed and keep it coming during marriage but don't accept that they see things too. No one tells them to put a shirt on. You know WHY no one tells them? Because they're men. They're in charge of who tells people what. The other reason? Because women have self control and can handle people doing what they want. Get with the program, men. This makes you look bad, not us. I know you can do it.
- *See post about slut shaming* I've already spoken a little about this earlier in this post, and in others. WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE JUDGED (whether thought of as bad people, or speculated about as far as sexual activity) FOR WHAT THEY CHOOSE TO PUT ON THEIR BODY. Gosh.
Summary of what SHOULD happen?
Ladies, wear whatever swimwear you want. But don't tell other people what to wear. And don't do it because you want to support supposed male inadequacy. Or because you feel forced to.
Guys, get a spine and self-control, if you don't have it, and if you do, use it proudly. And feel free to wear a shirt at the beach if you expect modesty out of women. Two way street, people.
Have a lovely day,
Moriah
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
This One I'm Not Sure About
This post is either going to be a massive complain sesh or a profound life lesson revelation. We'll see as it unfolds. This blog is becoming a means for me to work out my feelings, so who knows what'll happen.
Allow me to preface this with a little (not actually little) description of the way I've lived life, and something I've recently discovered is different in (apparently) a sizeable population of people:
I've almost never gotten help with homework. Literally never after 3rd grade. I figured it the hell out on my own. I won science fairs by myself after that 3rd grade one in which my mother glued the fabric on the board, and stayed up all night keeping me awake. (Thank you, because I got second. Above higher grade kids. You know it.) I did the FAFSA by myself. I learned how to pay taxes and invest and start bank accounts by myself, and I can't even do a few of those things yet. I applied for college by myself. Scholarships, too. My mother proofread ONE of my high school papers, and she missed a ton of things that were found by college friends, so I've never gotten that help again, because I didn't need it. I don't expect my parents to help me after eighteen, despite the fact that loans scare the bejeezus out of me. I don't intend to come home over summer breaks. I can cook, sew, iron, do laundry, coupon, care for children, and do many MANY crafty things, most of which I learned on my own. When I'm a grown-up, I'll be a grown-up, because I've been doing reasonable chunks of it this entire time. I could plausibly move out right this second (or years ago) and while it would be really hard, I wouldn't fail. I could do it. I know things.
The thing I've recently learned is that this is not the norm. While there are people like Stephanie Barnes who've pretty much kicked life in the tookus and done everything since before graduating high school all the while looking fabulous, there are TONS of kids who get monthly checks when they're living away. Every person I talked to in my touring group at UH was having college FULLY paid for by their parents. All of them. They didn't even know how much it actually cost. They were surprised when I told them just how much in loans I would have to take out (before I even knew how much I'd REALLY have to take out) and they just chose which college to go to by what they liked. They were also surprised I couldn't afford WSU because they were under the impression that it was cheap.
It's not.
I would be at University of Chicago or Yale or something if I could just choose what I wanted in life and it would be given to me. I would have been there a year ago.
I'm at that stage in life where you start becoming infantile again to avoid the sh*tstorm that's about to happen, and in doing so, I'm being as jealous as jealous can be of all the people that get that much help with life.
The ones who get money every week. The ones whose parents do their applications for them, the ones who were handed nice cars, whose parents will continue to pay insurance on it til they're ancient, etc.
Yes that's an exaggeration. Is it completely wrong? Not even close. I literally have fewer friends who are in the same no-help boat as me than ones who are getting fully taken care of.
And I don't know yet which is more effective! Because everyone in the generations before me that I've ever talked to hasn't gotten any of this magical load of help. There is nothing for me to work off of, that I can find. I won't know how I want to deal with my kids 'til I see where we all end up in a few years. (Which I guess is convenient timing? IDK.) I'm ungrateful to want the things that my peers have because my family never had it, and simply because it's not going to happen for me, but I see them reaping the benefits every day, and it sucks sometimes.
The thing is, I'm aware that I don't want to be that kid who doesn't know how to do laundry. I know I'd rather write my own papers, because frankly, they're better. (My parents are good at like, computers and health and things. Not writing eloquent papers. Or teaching anything math. Praise be to the Lord that they didn't homeschool.) And I know for a fact I'll be fine eventually, because I'm smart and I'm going to make it better than okay, with a lofty income. The loans I have now will be chump change.
The trouble is living in fear until that point, because debt makes me anxious.
I suppose if that's all I'm afraid of, then I don't really need to be afraid - because of the previous explanation. The bachelor's degree I'm getting will land me jobs in the $50,000-$70,000 range straight out of college. With my MD I can make up to $200,000 a year. Education is absolutely a worthwhile investment.
That DOES make me feel better. :)
-Moriah
Allow me to preface this with a little (not actually little) description of the way I've lived life, and something I've recently discovered is different in (apparently) a sizeable population of people:
I've almost never gotten help with homework. Literally never after 3rd grade. I figured it the hell out on my own. I won science fairs by myself after that 3rd grade one in which my mother glued the fabric on the board, and stayed up all night keeping me awake. (Thank you, because I got second. Above higher grade kids. You know it.) I did the FAFSA by myself. I learned how to pay taxes and invest and start bank accounts by myself, and I can't even do a few of those things yet. I applied for college by myself. Scholarships, too. My mother proofread ONE of my high school papers, and she missed a ton of things that were found by college friends, so I've never gotten that help again, because I didn't need it. I don't expect my parents to help me after eighteen, despite the fact that loans scare the bejeezus out of me. I don't intend to come home over summer breaks. I can cook, sew, iron, do laundry, coupon, care for children, and do many MANY crafty things, most of which I learned on my own. When I'm a grown-up, I'll be a grown-up, because I've been doing reasonable chunks of it this entire time. I could plausibly move out right this second (or years ago) and while it would be really hard, I wouldn't fail. I could do it. I know things.
The thing I've recently learned is that this is not the norm. While there are people like Stephanie Barnes who've pretty much kicked life in the tookus and done everything since before graduating high school all the while looking fabulous, there are TONS of kids who get monthly checks when they're living away. Every person I talked to in my touring group at UH was having college FULLY paid for by their parents. All of them. They didn't even know how much it actually cost. They were surprised when I told them just how much in loans I would have to take out (before I even knew how much I'd REALLY have to take out) and they just chose which college to go to by what they liked. They were also surprised I couldn't afford WSU because they were under the impression that it was cheap.
It's not.
I would be at University of Chicago or Yale or something if I could just choose what I wanted in life and it would be given to me. I would have been there a year ago.
I'm at that stage in life where you start becoming infantile again to avoid the sh*tstorm that's about to happen, and in doing so, I'm being as jealous as jealous can be of all the people that get that much help with life.
The ones who get money every week. The ones whose parents do their applications for them, the ones who were handed nice cars, whose parents will continue to pay insurance on it til they're ancient, etc.
Yes that's an exaggeration. Is it completely wrong? Not even close. I literally have fewer friends who are in the same no-help boat as me than ones who are getting fully taken care of.
And I don't know yet which is more effective! Because everyone in the generations before me that I've ever talked to hasn't gotten any of this magical load of help. There is nothing for me to work off of, that I can find. I won't know how I want to deal with my kids 'til I see where we all end up in a few years. (Which I guess is convenient timing? IDK.) I'm ungrateful to want the things that my peers have because my family never had it, and simply because it's not going to happen for me, but I see them reaping the benefits every day, and it sucks sometimes.
The thing is, I'm aware that I don't want to be that kid who doesn't know how to do laundry. I know I'd rather write my own papers, because frankly, they're better. (My parents are good at like, computers and health and things. Not writing eloquent papers. Or teaching anything math. Praise be to the Lord that they didn't homeschool.) And I know for a fact I'll be fine eventually, because I'm smart and I'm going to make it better than okay, with a lofty income. The loans I have now will be chump change.
The trouble is living in fear until that point, because debt makes me anxious.
I suppose if that's all I'm afraid of, then I don't really need to be afraid - because of the previous explanation. The bachelor's degree I'm getting will land me jobs in the $50,000-$70,000 range straight out of college. With my MD I can make up to $200,000 a year. Education is absolutely a worthwhile investment.
That DOES make me feel better. :)
-Moriah
Saturday, May 11, 2013
I Hate the Word Fat
I really do. I know euphemisms don't really do anything but make things sound nicer, but calling people mean names doesn't do anything but make you an a**hole.
There's no reason to ridicule people for what they look like or choose to do. Ever. There's also no reason to judge them for it, negatively. Judging meaning making preconceived and one-sided ideas about them, not judging as in sizing up positively/who you think they MIGHT BE.
I've recently realized JUST HOW MANY people would refuse to date someone (or be friends with them even) over something as small as 5-10 pounds. People who are beautiful/handsome to no end, and talented, and intelligent, that are only a little squishy in the tummy. Everything else is right! And I've realized that I used to think like that, attractiveness-wise, and I was so wrong.
It's taken me gaining weight and keeping it for pretty much no reason (I take care of myself. I move around, I eat good foods, etc.) other than that it's how I'm built, to come to a point where IDGAF whether someone has lean muscle when deciding who to date. It's a nice bonus, sure, but what's important is "the person, not what they look like." - Fat Albert :)
I've heard members of my own family, who are ALSO OVERWEIGHT, call people disgusting because of their size, and speculate about their ability to adequately have sexual relations. Since when are people gross? Since when was it okay to look at someone who (depending on your beliefs) was created by GOD (or defeated all odds to be born, because that's a feat) and make them out to be less than you because of their stored energy? I'm getting all worked up, haha.
I just got to thinking, "I have absolutely wonderful great grandparents, who were (are) married forever. What if they'd gotten bored, or just weren't attracted to each other anymore (BECAUSE EVERYONE GAINS WEIGHT OR GETS SOFT WHEN THEY GET OLD), and got divorced like everyone else seems to be doing? I wouldn't have seen the kind of love that builds up in over seventy years and know what I want for myself. I wouldn't know that those sorts of relationships exist."
Those people that won't even say maybe to someone because of a few extra pounds are the same hypocritical S's O B's that aren't going to be attracted to their spouses when they age. The same type of people who cheat because "oh, they let themselves go, I deserve someone attractive".
I don't WANT to date that person. So it's GOOD that they make it clear in the beginning.
We live in a world that is SO superficial, that sometimes we forget to look at who the PERSON is, rather than the body that's carrying them. We also forget that everyone is beautiful to someone, and everyone is someone's child, someone's sister/brother, someone's parent. There are people that love them, who would chop my proverbial balls off if I said things like that aloud in their presence.
I've started trying to remember that every time someone pisses me off, and I feel like thinking they're bad people. It's hard, but it's worth it.
<3
Moriah
There's no reason to ridicule people for what they look like or choose to do. Ever. There's also no reason to judge them for it, negatively. Judging meaning making preconceived and one-sided ideas about them, not judging as in sizing up positively/who you think they MIGHT BE.
I've recently realized JUST HOW MANY people would refuse to date someone (or be friends with them even) over something as small as 5-10 pounds. People who are beautiful/handsome to no end, and talented, and intelligent, that are only a little squishy in the tummy. Everything else is right! And I've realized that I used to think like that, attractiveness-wise, and I was so wrong.
It's taken me gaining weight and keeping it for pretty much no reason (I take care of myself. I move around, I eat good foods, etc.) other than that it's how I'm built, to come to a point where IDGAF whether someone has lean muscle when deciding who to date. It's a nice bonus, sure, but what's important is "the person, not what they look like." - Fat Albert :)
I've heard members of my own family, who are ALSO OVERWEIGHT, call people disgusting because of their size, and speculate about their ability to adequately have sexual relations. Since when are people gross? Since when was it okay to look at someone who (depending on your beliefs) was created by GOD (or defeated all odds to be born, because that's a feat) and make them out to be less than you because of their stored energy? I'm getting all worked up, haha.
I just got to thinking, "I have absolutely wonderful great grandparents, who were (are) married forever. What if they'd gotten bored, or just weren't attracted to each other anymore (BECAUSE EVERYONE GAINS WEIGHT OR GETS SOFT WHEN THEY GET OLD), and got divorced like everyone else seems to be doing? I wouldn't have seen the kind of love that builds up in over seventy years and know what I want for myself. I wouldn't know that those sorts of relationships exist."
Those people that won't even say maybe to someone because of a few extra pounds are the same hypocritical S's O B's that aren't going to be attracted to their spouses when they age. The same type of people who cheat because "oh, they let themselves go, I deserve someone attractive".
I don't WANT to date that person. So it's GOOD that they make it clear in the beginning.
We live in a world that is SO superficial, that sometimes we forget to look at who the PERSON is, rather than the body that's carrying them. We also forget that everyone is beautiful to someone, and everyone is someone's child, someone's sister/brother, someone's parent. There are people that love them, who would chop my proverbial balls off if I said things like that aloud in their presence.
I've started trying to remember that every time someone pisses me off, and I feel like thinking they're bad people. It's hard, but it's worth it.
<3
Moriah
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
What Irks Me Today: Ill Logic That Makes Me Ill
I'm going to come right out and say that I have a burning hatred for people who are incapable of understanding logical fallacy.
It's true.
Like, I can understand not knowing the term for whatever it is you're doing wrong, but instinctively you should know when you're leaving huge gaps in argumentation.
(Okay, maybe I don't hate the people. I'm just frustrated to no end with what they do.)
For instance, false analogies. They abound. Everywhere. And I point it out, and they DON'T UNDERSTAND. Apparently when people don't understand things, most of them don't TRY TO UNDERSTAND, they walk away dismissing me as ignorant or wrong because they DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.
Which also pisses me off. If I don't get what you're saying, I'm going to figure out what the heck it is you're saying, even if it takes me forever. I don't walk away thinking "oh, I must be right, because I don't understand what she said". THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
Here's some paraphrased conversation from earlier today.
Moriah: Well, I could have taken all standard classes and easily gotten a 4.0, but instead I chose rigor and learning. I didn't have to. We get the same diploma.
***: That's not going to pay off when you go looking for jobs, though. Or getting into college.
Moriah: Me and my 3.7 with rigorous classes to colleges seems to be equal to a 4.0. There's not really a difference other than that the other way is way easier.
***: I had to list my classes to get a job.
Moriah: Your college classes, not your high school classes. That's not the same thing.
***: Yes it is.
...*insert internal fury here*...
Moriah: I knew a kid who got into Harvard or something just by being good at sports. He took all standard classes. It's the same dang diploma.
***: Well he exceeded at standard classes. And colleges want athletes.
Moriah: THAT'S MY ENTIRE POINT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE HARD CLASSES TO GET INTO COLLEGE.
***: He was an all around good student, though.
Moriah: No, standard classes are stupid. You don't learn anything in them. He wasn't a good student by virtue of not challenging himself, but he got into Harvard. All he did was sports.
***: Yes he was. Cause he was an athlete. He was well rounded.
Moriah: I was awesome in debate, in a touring choir, had 7 years of theatre under my belt... am I not well rounded? And I ALSO took the hard classes.
***: Athleticism is what they care about. That's what makes someone well rounded.
*Moriah goes into room, throws something, and screams into the abyss*
I hear things like this from people EVERY DAY and every day they walk away from such conversations continuing to say things like that because they just IGNORE EVERY SINGLE POINT I EVER MAKE.
I swear to you all, I'm going to have to marry someone who was/is a successful debater/lawyer/philosophy major, or debate them in something before we go on a second date, just so I can stand to be around them. Living with people forever is a hefty contract to sign.
End rant.
-Moriah
It's true.
Like, I can understand not knowing the term for whatever it is you're doing wrong, but instinctively you should know when you're leaving huge gaps in argumentation.
(Okay, maybe I don't hate the people. I'm just frustrated to no end with what they do.)
For instance, false analogies. They abound. Everywhere. And I point it out, and they DON'T UNDERSTAND. Apparently when people don't understand things, most of them don't TRY TO UNDERSTAND, they walk away dismissing me as ignorant or wrong because they DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.
Which also pisses me off. If I don't get what you're saying, I'm going to figure out what the heck it is you're saying, even if it takes me forever. I don't walk away thinking "oh, I must be right, because I don't understand what she said". THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
Here's some paraphrased conversation from earlier today.
Moriah: Well, I could have taken all standard classes and easily gotten a 4.0, but instead I chose rigor and learning. I didn't have to. We get the same diploma.
***: That's not going to pay off when you go looking for jobs, though. Or getting into college.
Moriah: Me and my 3.7 with rigorous classes to colleges seems to be equal to a 4.0. There's not really a difference other than that the other way is way easier.
***: I had to list my classes to get a job.
Moriah: Your college classes, not your high school classes. That's not the same thing.
***: Yes it is.
...*insert internal fury here*...
Moriah: I knew a kid who got into Harvard or something just by being good at sports. He took all standard classes. It's the same dang diploma.
***: Well he exceeded at standard classes. And colleges want athletes.
Moriah: THAT'S MY ENTIRE POINT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE HARD CLASSES TO GET INTO COLLEGE.
***: He was an all around good student, though.
Moriah: No, standard classes are stupid. You don't learn anything in them. He wasn't a good student by virtue of not challenging himself, but he got into Harvard. All he did was sports.
***: Yes he was. Cause he was an athlete. He was well rounded.
Moriah: I was awesome in debate, in a touring choir, had 7 years of theatre under my belt... am I not well rounded? And I ALSO took the hard classes.
***: Athleticism is what they care about. That's what makes someone well rounded.
*Moriah goes into room, throws something, and screams into the abyss*
I hear things like this from people EVERY DAY and every day they walk away from such conversations continuing to say things like that because they just IGNORE EVERY SINGLE POINT I EVER MAKE.
I swear to you all, I'm going to have to marry someone who was/is a successful debater/lawyer/philosophy major, or debate them in something before we go on a second date, just so I can stand to be around them. Living with people forever is a hefty contract to sign.
End rant.
-Moriah
Monday, May 6, 2013
ERMERGERSH LERV
There's so much love stuff all over the interwebs. Really. It's ridiculous. My single heart just can't take it.
JK. I actually am okay with being single right now, which is super weird for me. Mostly because I just feel very comfortable that at the right time, some wicked awesome guy will come along and be perfect and things. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acYDNlMYAaI) I have time to keep thinking that. However, all this frou frou nonsense made me think about what love actually is to me. Romantic love, marriage love, the between-two-people kind. Here's a list, so that when I do start dating again, I can just send the guy a link on Facebook, and cut out a few weeks of dating - straight to this excellence (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn2r11gYShM):
-Being comfortable in silence. Knowing each other well enough that you don't have to talk all the time and that quality time can frequently just be their presence.
-In the same vein, doing things together most of the time. Most IS a key word there.
-Not fighting. Arguing, perhaps. Bickering, teasing, etc., yeah, whatever. Fighting? NO. Some clarification of terms:
Arguing - providing logical reasoning for a standpoint and comparing the two different standpoints. Compromise preferred. Frustration optional.
Bickering - being a whiney little b**** because you just can sometimes, but both parties know that it'll be over very quickly, and it's not their fault.
Teasing - sarcastic fun poking that isn't harmful.
Fighting - yelling, physically harming, taking the low road verbal attack wise, etc. THIS IS A BAD THING IT HURTS YOU AND YOUR KIDS JUST FREAKING DON'T DO IT OKAY
-Pitching in with housework and children and such cause you love them. Not saying "no" and sitting on the couch cause it's "not your job". If you both get things done quickly, then there's time left over for other things to which TV can't compare. ;) (Obviously bike riding in the park, get your mind out of the gutter.)
-Trying reasonably to look good.
(But also being okay with both of you looking like C.R.A.P. - because that's allowed to happen. And will happen.)
-*Insert large amounts of virtual food here because we all know food is made with love. Especially cookies and bread. Also the recipe for a Krabby Patty, which explicitly includes a cup of love.*
-Babying that kid like, well, a baby, when they're sick. By both people. None of this, "Oh, my dear lady friend, you must get over it when you're really sick, but when I get a tiny cold, the entire world will just have to stop."
-With that one, offering a warning when you're on your period. And not getting offended when she's on her period. Just buy some ice cream and lay low for a week. It's much easier that way, promise.
-Hugs. No more explanation needed on that one. I <3 hugs. They're pretty much the greatest display of affection. That and holding hands. Does that sound like a twelve year old said it? Oh yeah, I don't care. Because I've seen some of the most adorable adult couples in the world participating frequently.
-Caring about what your object of affection cares about. You don't have to know anything about it, or enjoy it really, but don't put them down over it. Acknowledge their love for it. BOTH WAYS. It's very hard to care about things you have very little interest in when you don't have someone doing the same for you.
-Lots of other specific things, that would just make this post drag on. :)
TL;DR - Focusing on the other person, knowing/caring about their needs/wants, food, physical touch.
Simple enough, right?
Love (haha, yeah, had to do it),
Moriah
****Please excuse my frequent YouTube video placement. I'm having a movie reference kinda day.
JK. I actually am okay with being single right now, which is super weird for me. Mostly because I just feel very comfortable that at the right time, some wicked awesome guy will come along and be perfect and things. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acYDNlMYAaI) I have time to keep thinking that. However, all this frou frou nonsense made me think about what love actually is to me. Romantic love, marriage love, the between-two-people kind. Here's a list, so that when I do start dating again, I can just send the guy a link on Facebook, and cut out a few weeks of dating - straight to this excellence (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn2r11gYShM):
-Being comfortable in silence. Knowing each other well enough that you don't have to talk all the time and that quality time can frequently just be their presence.
-In the same vein, doing things together most of the time. Most IS a key word there.
-Not fighting. Arguing, perhaps. Bickering, teasing, etc., yeah, whatever. Fighting? NO. Some clarification of terms:
Arguing - providing logical reasoning for a standpoint and comparing the two different standpoints. Compromise preferred. Frustration optional.
Bickering - being a whiney little b**** because you just can sometimes, but both parties know that it'll be over very quickly, and it's not their fault.
Teasing - sarcastic fun poking that isn't harmful.
Fighting - yelling, physically harming, taking the low road verbal attack wise, etc. THIS IS A BAD THING IT HURTS YOU AND YOUR KIDS JUST FREAKING DON'T DO IT OKAY
-Pitching in with housework and children and such cause you love them. Not saying "no" and sitting on the couch cause it's "not your job". If you both get things done quickly, then there's time left over for other things to which TV can't compare. ;) (Obviously bike riding in the park, get your mind out of the gutter.)
-Trying reasonably to look good.
(But also being okay with both of you looking like C.R.A.P. - because that's allowed to happen. And will happen.)
-*Insert large amounts of virtual food here because we all know food is made with love. Especially cookies and bread. Also the recipe for a Krabby Patty, which explicitly includes a cup of love.*
-Babying that kid like, well, a baby, when they're sick. By both people. None of this, "Oh, my dear lady friend, you must get over it when you're really sick, but when I get a tiny cold, the entire world will just have to stop."
-With that one, offering a warning when you're on your period. And not getting offended when she's on her period. Just buy some ice cream and lay low for a week. It's much easier that way, promise.
-Hugs. No more explanation needed on that one. I <3 hugs. They're pretty much the greatest display of affection. That and holding hands. Does that sound like a twelve year old said it? Oh yeah, I don't care. Because I've seen some of the most adorable adult couples in the world participating frequently.
-Caring about what your object of affection cares about. You don't have to know anything about it, or enjoy it really, but don't put them down over it. Acknowledge their love for it. BOTH WAYS. It's very hard to care about things you have very little interest in when you don't have someone doing the same for you.
-Lots of other specific things, that would just make this post drag on. :)
TL;DR - Focusing on the other person, knowing/caring about their needs/wants, food, physical touch.
Simple enough, right?
Love (haha, yeah, had to do it),
Moriah
****Please excuse my frequent YouTube video placement. I'm having a movie reference kinda day.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
An Ode to The Little Things
Except not really an ode. Because there's no way in the Secret Garden that I'm going to write poetry with looming AP exams.
I write this because I realized on the way home from Food Lion that grocery shopping (with a reasonable amount of money) is truly one of my favorite things to do in this world. Some people like clothes shopping - and I do sometimes too - but clothes JUDGE YOU. People in the store judge you for your choices. You judge yourself for how you look AND your choices. Food don't judge, friends.
Well. You may get some judgment from others if you buy thirteen gallons of Blue Bunny. But then you can forget about that while you butter pecan your sorrows away.
Anyway, speaking of junk food, that's not what I buy for my enjoyment purposes (no, I buy other things (;). When at fast food places, I'm more like Blue Bunny girl, but in grocery stores that have a freaking rainbow of plant reproductive organs, that's what I go for.
A. It's super cheap. Calorie to cent wise, yes, food stamp researchers, junk food IS cheaper, but volume and nutrition to cent wise? SO MUCH DEAL COMES FROM FRESH THINGS.
B. Because of A, I can buy a lot. Which makes me haaaappppyyy. I came home today (on $21.47) with a bag of large shrimp, 4 kiwis, 4 Roma tomatoes, about a quarter of a cabbage head (they gave it to me free cause I wanted what other people ripped off muahaha), a yellow squash, 2 zucchini, pad thai noodles and seasoning, a red bell pepper, many bean sprouts, sliced baby bella mushrooms, and joy. With some pasta and such I have at home, I have minimum 10 servings of food. Don't even tell me college kids have to eat ramen. They only have to eat ramen if all they know how to work is a microwave. Which makes college meal plan pricing very clearly a pile of BS that I will not continue after freshman year.
See? Simple things. I, Moriah Murray, derive great pleasure out of selecting fruits and vegetables. Meats, cheeses and dairy too. (A guy actually asked me to help him pick a lime tonight because he said I looked like I knew what I was doing, perusing all that fruit hahaha. He'd never done it before, apparently.) Having simple decisions that really have no negative consequences and can only bring positives is the most soothing thing ever, especially now that people (very much including me) are having to run themselves dry with tough decisions.
I also enjoy sitting in the aisles of Books a Million just smelling the paper, where I found a book in which a man wrote down things that made him happy for some ridiculous amount of time. Many years. Every day. And it was awesome, because they weren't like "ohoho, I enjoy my frequent vacations to my private island", they were things like argyle sweaters and, well, the smell of paper.
So, revelation to me in the driver's seat of a Chevy Tahoe (which I am not getting in the future, so loud) that I will share with you: don't dread everyday things like buying food, doing laundry, etc. They're so much more fun when you want to be there, and are singing while you do them.
XOXO and Stuff,
Moriah
I write this because I realized on the way home from Food Lion that grocery shopping (with a reasonable amount of money) is truly one of my favorite things to do in this world. Some people like clothes shopping - and I do sometimes too - but clothes JUDGE YOU. People in the store judge you for your choices. You judge yourself for how you look AND your choices. Food don't judge, friends.
Well. You may get some judgment from others if you buy thirteen gallons of Blue Bunny. But then you can forget about that while you butter pecan your sorrows away.
Anyway, speaking of junk food, that's not what I buy for my enjoyment purposes (no, I buy other things (;). When at fast food places, I'm more like Blue Bunny girl, but in grocery stores that have a freaking rainbow of plant reproductive organs, that's what I go for.
A. It's super cheap. Calorie to cent wise, yes, food stamp researchers, junk food IS cheaper, but volume and nutrition to cent wise? SO MUCH DEAL COMES FROM FRESH THINGS.
B. Because of A, I can buy a lot. Which makes me haaaappppyyy. I came home today (on $21.47) with a bag of large shrimp, 4 kiwis, 4 Roma tomatoes, about a quarter of a cabbage head (they gave it to me free cause I wanted what other people ripped off muahaha), a yellow squash, 2 zucchini, pad thai noodles and seasoning, a red bell pepper, many bean sprouts, sliced baby bella mushrooms, and joy. With some pasta and such I have at home, I have minimum 10 servings of food. Don't even tell me college kids have to eat ramen. They only have to eat ramen if all they know how to work is a microwave. Which makes college meal plan pricing very clearly a pile of BS that I will not continue after freshman year.
See? Simple things. I, Moriah Murray, derive great pleasure out of selecting fruits and vegetables. Meats, cheeses and dairy too. (A guy actually asked me to help him pick a lime tonight because he said I looked like I knew what I was doing, perusing all that fruit hahaha. He'd never done it before, apparently.) Having simple decisions that really have no negative consequences and can only bring positives is the most soothing thing ever, especially now that people (very much including me) are having to run themselves dry with tough decisions.
I also enjoy sitting in the aisles of Books a Million just smelling the paper, where I found a book in which a man wrote down things that made him happy for some ridiculous amount of time. Many years. Every day. And it was awesome, because they weren't like "ohoho, I enjoy my frequent vacations to my private island", they were things like argyle sweaters and, well, the smell of paper.
So, revelation to me in the driver's seat of a Chevy Tahoe (which I am not getting in the future, so loud) that I will share with you: don't dread everyday things like buying food, doing laundry, etc. They're so much more fun when you want to be there, and are singing while you do them.
XOXO and Stuff,
Moriah
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
A View Into the Usually-Reserved Section of My Mental Library
Don't worry, a delightful squib named Filch isn't going to come grimace at you. Although, you might feel alarmed that someone who locks a few specific things up as much as I do is posting my feelers in a public venue. (Normally it's just rage at things outside of my control.) I think it's because I'm sitting alone behind a computer, so the full gravity of what I'm doing is SO NOT being felt. And I don't really have any friends locally, so I haven't hugged anyone or been hugged in a month. And if you know me, you know that that is really not good for my emotional health.
Here goes nothing, one topic at a time:
1. My fish is dying. And this really, truly makes me sad. He was $3.99 plus tax, and I've only known him for two days, but it makes me want to cry that he won't move, or eat anything. He's deathly afraid of humans. Truthfully I'd like to stomp on the toes of every large chain pet store worker, because CLEARLY they don't care anything about the lives they hold in their hands. Animals aren't people, but they sure as hell deserve to be treated well if we're going to do them the injustice of domesticating them.
2. (You can skip this part if you want. You can skip any part, because it probably will make you feel uncomfortable. At least, I'm uncomfortable, so I assume you are. Seriously. Don't depress yourself if you don't want to.) I'm horrible at being Mormon. Heck, I'm horrible at being a God-respecting religious person. I love swearing, and coffee, and short-ish skirts, and various forms of sexual activity. It's probably good that no one wants to date me, because I'd be headed down a very scary path right now. I wanted multiple piercings and tattoos for a while.
I start bawling, against my will, either visibly or mentally, at nearly every church meeting, because I KNOW everything I need to be doing, and I know how good it feels when I'm on track, but it is SO HARD. I'm crying over a YouTube video right now, like seriously. The three years I spent telling myself I didn't believe in God were the worst years of my life, even though circumstantially I had it way harder after that. It kills me a little bit inside to see people who are just GOOD at being religious. They freaking glow, all the time. I wish I could do that. I wish I had people here my age who would be there when I want to do something stupid, like I had in other places, and tell me it's not worth it. (Paisley, I miss you.)
3. I'm an ambivert, so this TOTAL being by myself thing isn't working so well. My introverted side was very happy being by myself for a while, but I miss having friends around. As such, I'm very excited to figure out where I'm going to college so I can just settle into that routine. Don't get me wrong, though, I'm glad I moved, overall. I needed my life a little less stressful. And I'd be much more satisfied being alone if I could get my dang life in order (see point 2).
4. I have no idea what I'm doing with the next 3-4 years of my life. The schools I want to go to are financially or physically out of reach. I can't visit PSU or UH Manoa to see if they're worth the money, because I have no money. I can't go to UW, because it'd be $40,000 a year, despite the fact that I'd be an honors engineering student at one of the best schools in the country. My top choice, BYUH, was the only one out of 8 schools I applied to that rejected me. None of the honors colleges rejected me, even, and I have huge scholarships to almost all of them. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE??
I'm thinking about working on an organic farm for a year in HI, and figuring out what I'm doing from there, because I haven't gotten "the feeling" yet. I've visited schools, and none of them have been right for me, like everyone else seems to be finding. It has made it very clear to me, though, that I'm going to work my butt off to go to the med school I want to go to, regardless of cost, and that I'm going to use my huge psychiatrist paycheck to save for my kids' college educations. Helping them after they've done their best isn't enabling them, it's keeping from disabling them with several thousand in student loans when they're just starting off.
Speaking of which, I also want to step on the toes of whoever sets tuition rates at colleges nowadays. Why is education a commodity to be bought and sold, rather than a gift given by society to renew itself? THE KIDS GOING TO COLLEGE NOW ARE GOING TO RULE AMERICA IN A DECADE OR TWO. They will be in charge of social security, taxes, welfare, every other aspect of our societal framework. We can't have highly intelligent kids crippled by debt just because they aren't a member of the economic elite. GET A CLUE, USA. So much for the American dream.
5. I'm done venting to you now, internet folks. I hope that made you feel better about yourself. It always makes me feel better about myself when I see other people also feeling crummy. That's probably a terrible thing, but hey, I too am a victim of the state of nature. Because I am a lady of action, I (from this moment) am now going to think of things to be grateful for, and ways to fix these problems. Also, if you read all that, congratulations. You are a truly gracious and selfless person. Now go hug somebody, and have an awesome life, and tell me all your problems when you need to.
Coming Soon: Gratitude with a Can-Do Attitude
Love,
Moriah
Here goes nothing, one topic at a time:
1. My fish is dying. And this really, truly makes me sad. He was $3.99 plus tax, and I've only known him for two days, but it makes me want to cry that he won't move, or eat anything. He's deathly afraid of humans. Truthfully I'd like to stomp on the toes of every large chain pet store worker, because CLEARLY they don't care anything about the lives they hold in their hands. Animals aren't people, but they sure as hell deserve to be treated well if we're going to do them the injustice of domesticating them.
2. (You can skip this part if you want. You can skip any part, because it probably will make you feel uncomfortable. At least, I'm uncomfortable, so I assume you are. Seriously. Don't depress yourself if you don't want to.) I'm horrible at being Mormon. Heck, I'm horrible at being a God-respecting religious person. I love swearing, and coffee, and short-ish skirts, and various forms of sexual activity. It's probably good that no one wants to date me, because I'd be headed down a very scary path right now. I wanted multiple piercings and tattoos for a while.
I start bawling, against my will, either visibly or mentally, at nearly every church meeting, because I KNOW everything I need to be doing, and I know how good it feels when I'm on track, but it is SO HARD. I'm crying over a YouTube video right now, like seriously. The three years I spent telling myself I didn't believe in God were the worst years of my life, even though circumstantially I had it way harder after that. It kills me a little bit inside to see people who are just GOOD at being religious. They freaking glow, all the time. I wish I could do that. I wish I had people here my age who would be there when I want to do something stupid, like I had in other places, and tell me it's not worth it. (Paisley, I miss you.)
3. I'm an ambivert, so this TOTAL being by myself thing isn't working so well. My introverted side was very happy being by myself for a while, but I miss having friends around. As such, I'm very excited to figure out where I'm going to college so I can just settle into that routine. Don't get me wrong, though, I'm glad I moved, overall. I needed my life a little less stressful. And I'd be much more satisfied being alone if I could get my dang life in order (see point 2).
4. I have no idea what I'm doing with the next 3-4 years of my life. The schools I want to go to are financially or physically out of reach. I can't visit PSU or UH Manoa to see if they're worth the money, because I have no money. I can't go to UW, because it'd be $40,000 a year, despite the fact that I'd be an honors engineering student at one of the best schools in the country. My top choice, BYUH, was the only one out of 8 schools I applied to that rejected me. None of the honors colleges rejected me, even, and I have huge scholarships to almost all of them. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE??
I'm thinking about working on an organic farm for a year in HI, and figuring out what I'm doing from there, because I haven't gotten "the feeling" yet. I've visited schools, and none of them have been right for me, like everyone else seems to be finding. It has made it very clear to me, though, that I'm going to work my butt off to go to the med school I want to go to, regardless of cost, and that I'm going to use my huge psychiatrist paycheck to save for my kids' college educations. Helping them after they've done their best isn't enabling them, it's keeping from disabling them with several thousand in student loans when they're just starting off.
Speaking of which, I also want to step on the toes of whoever sets tuition rates at colleges nowadays. Why is education a commodity to be bought and sold, rather than a gift given by society to renew itself? THE KIDS GOING TO COLLEGE NOW ARE GOING TO RULE AMERICA IN A DECADE OR TWO. They will be in charge of social security, taxes, welfare, every other aspect of our societal framework. We can't have highly intelligent kids crippled by debt just because they aren't a member of the economic elite. GET A CLUE, USA. So much for the American dream.
5. I'm done venting to you now, internet folks. I hope that made you feel better about yourself. It always makes me feel better about myself when I see other people also feeling crummy. That's probably a terrible thing, but hey, I too am a victim of the state of nature. Because I am a lady of action, I (from this moment) am now going to think of things to be grateful for, and ways to fix these problems. Also, if you read all that, congratulations. You are a truly gracious and selfless person. Now go hug somebody, and have an awesome life, and tell me all your problems when you need to.
Coming Soon: Gratitude with a Can-Do Attitude
Love,
Moriah
Monday, March 25, 2013
I'm Moriah, and I Do What I Want
Yes, you read correctly. I do whatever I want. That sounds so rebellious, doesn't it?
Wrong.
Actually, doing whatever I want has made me pretty free. I don't feel obligated to be anyone that I'm not. But I'm not a bad kid. Let me give you examples, I'll tell you straight up. But first, some of the inspiration for this post:
One Million Moms
Parents who are concerned about their kids wearing thongs (See articles all over the interwebs about misinformed parents thinking PINK is targeted at 12 year olds and not the college students it's actually targeted at.) or refuse to let them date certain people or berate them for their hair color choice or really anything else that's part of adolescence and not truly harmful
People who force their beliefs on others
Etc.
Now on to the examples:
-I wear the clothes I want, and sometimes they're pretty weird, but never immodest. I respect my body, so what I want is to clothe it in things I like that aren't hypersexual. But guess what? I'm not going to judge you on your clothing choice.
-I wear lacy thong underwear, even on my period, like now. I don't think that's hypersexual because no one can see it but me. They're comfortable. There are no panty lines. So really, they're more modest than people whose underwear you can see, I think. I'm glad my parents don't govern the clothes I wear or the panties I choose because it means I learned to make the choices on my own and don't resent them as much as some other kids.
-I just told you I'm on my period. It's getting crazy in here.
-Along that line, I've never had sex. Do I want to? Not yet. I'm waiting til I get married. If I wanted to, I would. But I don't, because I'm religious by choice.
-Oh look, I'm religious. In a culture where "doing what you want" has the context of being some crazy carnal drunken sex machine, I go to church. Because I want to.
-I'm not getting married yet, because I don't want to. It doesn't feel right for me to marry as young as other girls. It may be right for them, and I'm happy for them, but it's so not for me.
-I'm also not having kids til after I finish med school. That means in Mormonia, I'll be an old maid in my upper twenties. But I don't care.
-I'm going to be a psychiatrist. A woman with an MD? SUPER crazy. I also have several ideas for when I have enough money to develop and innovate technology that helps the world we live in.
-I cut my hair to an inch short because I felt like it. I wasn't afraid of losing my femininity, or of what others would think. I like it, I never have to pull it out of my face.
-I eat the food that I want. In moderation, of course, but I'm not going to relegate my life to cottage cheese so that I'm slave to a scale.
-I exercise because I like it. I was on swim team for 6 years, now I walk 3+ miles at least 3-4 times a week and do yoga.
-I don't drink or do drugs because I don't want to. It just grosses me out, man.
-I'm going to the library (my homeland) in a few minutes. On purpose. For leisure.
See how doing what I want means there are few stereotypes I fit in? I'm not a stereotypical Mormon. I'm not a stereotypical woman. I'm not a stereotypical teenager. In fact, I don't know of very many people who share the same perspective on the world as I do. Pretty much any of them. But because I don't subjugate myself and my actions to anyone else, I am happy. I do what I'm supposed to religiously because I WANT TO. Not because I've been told to. My ambition stems from being who I want to be, and that's much stronger than being who anyone else wants me to be.
Which definitely clarifies how I intend to parent. When my family was very tight on the reins, I hated all of their guidance, and instead did stupid things to alienate myself from that. When they became pretty permissive, and let the world teach me, I started doing the right thing because I wanted to. I firmly believe that you teach your children correct principles, set out a reasonable amount of rules with clear consequences, and then let them free to learn. (And let them be free to come back, and make it very clear that you love them no matter what.) You don't have to worry about what society tells your kids if you raise them to not listen to it and make their own choices! Stop focusing on what big bad companies are doing and instead focus on your kids; bad corporate people are NEVER going away. We live in a world that is continually getting more "morally unsound". Protesting it doesn't fix it. Families teaching their children well fixes it. But that's just my opinion. And, you know, the opinion of a lot of religious and secular leaders.
The beauty of it is that none of you have to do that. You don't have to agree with me. You don't even have to read this. You can also do whatever you want. You can get high off your... butts... (I'm trying to kick swearing. I read an article stating that the pain reduction and shock value benefits decrease if you overuse it. And it just makes some people uncomfortable; I'll try not to assault your ears/eyes.) on LSD if you so choose. I personally don't think that's what makes for real happiness, but if that's what you want, that's your deal. Choosing for yourself is something that you can use to enhance your life or to make it a personal hell, whatever that is for you.
This blog is turning into some kind of personal empowerment thing. My motto is turning into "love, don't judge". I'll also probably get a coexist bumper sticker on the back of my little station wagon. "What a liberal," my parents will say. "How did we conceive her?" And I am/will do it because I want to.
PEACE
-Moriah
Wrong.
Actually, doing whatever I want has made me pretty free. I don't feel obligated to be anyone that I'm not. But I'm not a bad kid. Let me give you examples, I'll tell you straight up. But first, some of the inspiration for this post:
One Million Moms
Parents who are concerned about their kids wearing thongs (See articles all over the interwebs about misinformed parents thinking PINK is targeted at 12 year olds and not the college students it's actually targeted at.) or refuse to let them date certain people or berate them for their hair color choice or really anything else that's part of adolescence and not truly harmful
People who force their beliefs on others
Etc.
Now on to the examples:
-I wear the clothes I want, and sometimes they're pretty weird, but never immodest. I respect my body, so what I want is to clothe it in things I like that aren't hypersexual. But guess what? I'm not going to judge you on your clothing choice.
-I wear lacy thong underwear, even on my period, like now. I don't think that's hypersexual because no one can see it but me. They're comfortable. There are no panty lines. So really, they're more modest than people whose underwear you can see, I think. I'm glad my parents don't govern the clothes I wear or the panties I choose because it means I learned to make the choices on my own and don't resent them as much as some other kids.
-I just told you I'm on my period. It's getting crazy in here.
-Along that line, I've never had sex. Do I want to? Not yet. I'm waiting til I get married. If I wanted to, I would. But I don't, because I'm religious by choice.
-Oh look, I'm religious. In a culture where "doing what you want" has the context of being some crazy carnal drunken sex machine, I go to church. Because I want to.
-I'm not getting married yet, because I don't want to. It doesn't feel right for me to marry as young as other girls. It may be right for them, and I'm happy for them, but it's so not for me.
-I'm also not having kids til after I finish med school. That means in Mormonia, I'll be an old maid in my upper twenties. But I don't care.
-I'm going to be a psychiatrist. A woman with an MD? SUPER crazy. I also have several ideas for when I have enough money to develop and innovate technology that helps the world we live in.
-I cut my hair to an inch short because I felt like it. I wasn't afraid of losing my femininity, or of what others would think. I like it, I never have to pull it out of my face.
-I eat the food that I want. In moderation, of course, but I'm not going to relegate my life to cottage cheese so that I'm slave to a scale.
-I exercise because I like it. I was on swim team for 6 years, now I walk 3+ miles at least 3-4 times a week and do yoga.
-I don't drink or do drugs because I don't want to. It just grosses me out, man.
-I'm going to the library (my homeland) in a few minutes. On purpose. For leisure.
See how doing what I want means there are few stereotypes I fit in? I'm not a stereotypical Mormon. I'm not a stereotypical woman. I'm not a stereotypical teenager. In fact, I don't know of very many people who share the same perspective on the world as I do. Pretty much any of them. But because I don't subjugate myself and my actions to anyone else, I am happy. I do what I'm supposed to religiously because I WANT TO. Not because I've been told to. My ambition stems from being who I want to be, and that's much stronger than being who anyone else wants me to be.
Which definitely clarifies how I intend to parent. When my family was very tight on the reins, I hated all of their guidance, and instead did stupid things to alienate myself from that. When they became pretty permissive, and let the world teach me, I started doing the right thing because I wanted to. I firmly believe that you teach your children correct principles, set out a reasonable amount of rules with clear consequences, and then let them free to learn. (And let them be free to come back, and make it very clear that you love them no matter what.) You don't have to worry about what society tells your kids if you raise them to not listen to it and make their own choices! Stop focusing on what big bad companies are doing and instead focus on your kids; bad corporate people are NEVER going away. We live in a world that is continually getting more "morally unsound". Protesting it doesn't fix it. Families teaching their children well fixes it. But that's just my opinion. And, you know, the opinion of a lot of religious and secular leaders.
The beauty of it is that none of you have to do that. You don't have to agree with me. You don't even have to read this. You can also do whatever you want. You can get high off your... butts... (I'm trying to kick swearing. I read an article stating that the pain reduction and shock value benefits decrease if you overuse it. And it just makes some people uncomfortable; I'll try not to assault your ears/eyes.) on LSD if you so choose. I personally don't think that's what makes for real happiness, but if that's what you want, that's your deal. Choosing for yourself is something that you can use to enhance your life or to make it a personal hell, whatever that is for you.
This blog is turning into some kind of personal empowerment thing. My motto is turning into "love, don't judge". I'll also probably get a coexist bumper sticker on the back of my little station wagon. "What a liberal," my parents will say. "How did we conceive her?" And I am/will do it because I want to.
PEACE
-Moriah
Monday, March 18, 2013
What Irks Me Today: Slut Shaming
For those of you who are unaware of the term, slut shaming is ridiculing or attacking women for their sexual activity, present or not. It does not imply they are actual sluts, which truthfully don't exist unless one lays that name upon themself. Now, why would Moriah choose this topic (of ALL the topics in the world) to write about today? Because people on the internet can be really stupid. Shocker, I know.
I see meme and picture and post in abundance about how "geeky girls" aren't really nerdy, they're just looking for attention, how scantily clad girls must have 50 kinds of STDs, how certain beautiful girls are too pretty to be virgins, and numerous other kinds of SHAMEFUL behavior.
For instance, over 5,000 people liked a photo (in the past few minutes) that said "New Rule: If your glasses don't have lenses, we get to gouge your eyes out." In hundreds of comments, there were only two positive ones, and the most liked one said "Oh, look. A slut found glasses." The girl in the picture was fully clothed, in nothing elaborate, with no makeup on. Is it really getting that bad, guys? Bad enough that even the "nerds", the people who have been stepped on in pop culture and considered by many the bottom of the social food chain are thinking they're above people who aren't truly nerdy enough? (I'm not bashing nerdy people, by the way. Simply pointing out that a previously catch-all group of misfits, including myself, has turned into some kind of stupid exclusive club.)
Here's an idea: You can't tell whether someone's had sex by how they look.
And another: It's not more likely because that person is female, or gorgeous, or dresses/acts a certain way.
And another: Even if they have, even more than once, IT'S NOT YOUR D*MN BUSINESS. And you have no right to judge them.
It's been hard for me personally to stop judging people by how "slutty" they seemingly are. I'm not going to lie, it's difficult. Even thinking less of people for pretty much anything they do is undue judging. Being frustrated with their life choices is cool. But thinking you're better than them is completely not okay. They get enough from everyone else, and it's impossible for people to fully change if your view of them can't change as well.
With that, this whole quick-to-judge thing needs to stop everywhere. In every situation. Gender, sexual orientation, political party, clothing style, body fat percentage. There is WAY too much negativity in this world, and news flash: IT DOESN'T MAKE ANYONE BETTER TO POINT OUT THEIR "FLAWS". It just makes them self conscious, and worse off than before. Lay off, guys. For real.
-Moriah
I see meme and picture and post in abundance about how "geeky girls" aren't really nerdy, they're just looking for attention, how scantily clad girls must have 50 kinds of STDs, how certain beautiful girls are too pretty to be virgins, and numerous other kinds of SHAMEFUL behavior.
For instance, over 5,000 people liked a photo (in the past few minutes) that said "New Rule: If your glasses don't have lenses, we get to gouge your eyes out." In hundreds of comments, there were only two positive ones, and the most liked one said "Oh, look. A slut found glasses." The girl in the picture was fully clothed, in nothing elaborate, with no makeup on. Is it really getting that bad, guys? Bad enough that even the "nerds", the people who have been stepped on in pop culture and considered by many the bottom of the social food chain are thinking they're above people who aren't truly nerdy enough? (I'm not bashing nerdy people, by the way. Simply pointing out that a previously catch-all group of misfits, including myself, has turned into some kind of stupid exclusive club.)
Here's an idea: You can't tell whether someone's had sex by how they look.
And another: It's not more likely because that person is female, or gorgeous, or dresses/acts a certain way.
And another: Even if they have, even more than once, IT'S NOT YOUR D*MN BUSINESS. And you have no right to judge them.
It's been hard for me personally to stop judging people by how "slutty" they seemingly are. I'm not going to lie, it's difficult. Even thinking less of people for pretty much anything they do is undue judging. Being frustrated with their life choices is cool. But thinking you're better than them is completely not okay. They get enough from everyone else, and it's impossible for people to fully change if your view of them can't change as well.
With that, this whole quick-to-judge thing needs to stop everywhere. In every situation. Gender, sexual orientation, political party, clothing style, body fat percentage. There is WAY too much negativity in this world, and news flash: IT DOESN'T MAKE ANYONE BETTER TO POINT OUT THEIR "FLAWS". It just makes them self conscious, and worse off than before. Lay off, guys. For real.
-Moriah
Sunday, March 3, 2013
A How-To Lesson On Happiness
(It's been a month. Whoops! I have a bunch of drafts, but here: something finished.)
I've come to the strangest realization today: I am happy. And sometimes I completely take it for granted that I am.
See, I've learned that people always have one dominating feeling, and environmental circumstances modify it this way or that throughout the day. Some people are always afraid and insecure. Some people are always hurt and angry. Some people are always happy. Does that mean they can't be the opposite emotion for a period of time? Heck no. But it does occupy the majority of their life.
I had a period of sad for about a year or so. Most people would call it clinical depression. In that time, I gained twenty pounds, cried for no reason, did stupid, illegal things, couldn't bring myself to do my homework or even things I loved - you've seen it all. I had happy days, when I was at the beach with friends or something like that, but it didn't erase the prevailing empty feeling. I didn't feel loved, or worth anything to the world, or beautiful, or intelligent - I didn't feel anything good.
That's why the idea that I am a happy person in a very cruel and unhappy world is fascinating to me. The idea that I'm still happy when horrible things get thrown my way and when life gets even harder is even more of an enigma. There are so few people that would describe themselves as happy, it hurts me to watch. I want to shake them, and yell (or sing or something, so it's not QUITE so aggressive) in their faces that they're astonishingly gorgeous beings that deserve everything good that the world can give them. That they have no reason to be sad or angry even when terrible things happen to them because they are SO MUCH MORE AWESOME than the things that are happening to them.
I think it's clear that the one big feeling CAN be changed, but it's very difficult. I don't even fully know how I did it. The only connection I can make is that I threw myself wholeheartedly into my religion of choice, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You obviously don't need to be Mormon to be happy; there are plenty of people who do without and are genuinely happy, but I can tell you what you do need, and all of those things were (luckily) incorporated into said religion. End religious preach, begin life preach:
1. You have to love and serve other people more than yourself. Whoever started the stupid idea that you have to love yourself first to love others did no one any favors. In fact, the more you realize your own capacity to love, the more you begin seeing all the good in others, and how big THEIR capacity to love is, and then - you realize you're good and loved too. You don't need to have a fantastic family life, you don't need a significant other. YOU DON'T NEED OTHERS TO LOVE YOU TO FEEL LOVED. And it goes vice versa. I can tell you, looking back, that so many people have loved me so much, and told me. Made it VERY obvious. But because I was so sucked up in myself, I couldn't see that. I couldn't hear them tell me every day. Only after getting over myself and seeing how awesome everyone else is did I realize just how awesome I am.
2. After you realize the awesome that is you, you stop caring about the negative influences of the media and society in general. You say "screw you" to airbrushed magazine photos, to social idealizations, to everything else that would try to make you feel less than you are. You stop trying to be "cool" and instead be you, which is automatically cool. And it's only uphill from there. Once you can walk out the door and know that you don't need any of those things, your self esteem goes up, so you start taking care of yourself, so your healthy, happy, self looks even more radiant than it was before. And people notice, so you gain real friends who are happy to be around someone as happy as you, instead of people sucking the life out of you with the only payback being "popularity". It's a wonderfully vicious cycle.
3. You then do things that you love. You get hobbies, find an enjoyable form of exercise, join clubs. Those who are busy and happy are very rarely lonely. I've been single for over a year and a half now. Haven't even had a real date. Do I care? Not a bit. Those poor suckers are missing out on all the fun things I'm doing. I just moved 3000+ miles across the country, with no friends here, and I'm still happy. I can go to Books-A-Million for three hours just browsing. SMELLS SO GOOD
4. You throw in the occasional crazy stunt. Not illegal, but internally frightening, like chopping off all your hair, cliff diving, taking a gender studies class as a heterosexual man, walking up to random people and just talking. You don't need to do idiotic things to get an adrenaline rush when you can get it from proactive things. And that, my friend, is how you move on to the next thing:
5. You gradually get rid of bad habits. Note: GRADUALLY. And replace them with good things mentioned above. If you get rid of something, there's a hole there that needs to be filled. So do something productive instead of destructive every time you feel the urge to do the latter, and it'll go away. You can't just stop cold turkey and then beat yourself up every time you relapse. You have to be able to accept that you are imperfect, and that's not magically going to change. As such, you have to learn to FORGIVE YOURSELF. You are worth forgiving. And you can't get better without acknowledging what was previously bad.
I could probably go on forever. I hope those five steps are enough to get at least a few people jump-started on the road to happy living. It's much better on the light side, I promise. We have cheesecake.
I've come to the strangest realization today: I am happy. And sometimes I completely take it for granted that I am.
See, I've learned that people always have one dominating feeling, and environmental circumstances modify it this way or that throughout the day. Some people are always afraid and insecure. Some people are always hurt and angry. Some people are always happy. Does that mean they can't be the opposite emotion for a period of time? Heck no. But it does occupy the majority of their life.
I had a period of sad for about a year or so. Most people would call it clinical depression. In that time, I gained twenty pounds, cried for no reason, did stupid, illegal things, couldn't bring myself to do my homework or even things I loved - you've seen it all. I had happy days, when I was at the beach with friends or something like that, but it didn't erase the prevailing empty feeling. I didn't feel loved, or worth anything to the world, or beautiful, or intelligent - I didn't feel anything good.
That's why the idea that I am a happy person in a very cruel and unhappy world is fascinating to me. The idea that I'm still happy when horrible things get thrown my way and when life gets even harder is even more of an enigma. There are so few people that would describe themselves as happy, it hurts me to watch. I want to shake them, and yell (or sing or something, so it's not QUITE so aggressive) in their faces that they're astonishingly gorgeous beings that deserve everything good that the world can give them. That they have no reason to be sad or angry even when terrible things happen to them because they are SO MUCH MORE AWESOME than the things that are happening to them.
I think it's clear that the one big feeling CAN be changed, but it's very difficult. I don't even fully know how I did it. The only connection I can make is that I threw myself wholeheartedly into my religion of choice, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You obviously don't need to be Mormon to be happy; there are plenty of people who do without and are genuinely happy, but I can tell you what you do need, and all of those things were (luckily) incorporated into said religion. End religious preach, begin life preach:
1. You have to love and serve other people more than yourself. Whoever started the stupid idea that you have to love yourself first to love others did no one any favors. In fact, the more you realize your own capacity to love, the more you begin seeing all the good in others, and how big THEIR capacity to love is, and then - you realize you're good and loved too. You don't need to have a fantastic family life, you don't need a significant other. YOU DON'T NEED OTHERS TO LOVE YOU TO FEEL LOVED. And it goes vice versa. I can tell you, looking back, that so many people have loved me so much, and told me. Made it VERY obvious. But because I was so sucked up in myself, I couldn't see that. I couldn't hear them tell me every day. Only after getting over myself and seeing how awesome everyone else is did I realize just how awesome I am.
2. After you realize the awesome that is you, you stop caring about the negative influences of the media and society in general. You say "screw you" to airbrushed magazine photos, to social idealizations, to everything else that would try to make you feel less than you are. You stop trying to be "cool" and instead be you, which is automatically cool. And it's only uphill from there. Once you can walk out the door and know that you don't need any of those things, your self esteem goes up, so you start taking care of yourself, so your healthy, happy, self looks even more radiant than it was before. And people notice, so you gain real friends who are happy to be around someone as happy as you, instead of people sucking the life out of you with the only payback being "popularity". It's a wonderfully vicious cycle.
3. You then do things that you love. You get hobbies, find an enjoyable form of exercise, join clubs. Those who are busy and happy are very rarely lonely. I've been single for over a year and a half now. Haven't even had a real date. Do I care? Not a bit. Those poor suckers are missing out on all the fun things I'm doing. I just moved 3000+ miles across the country, with no friends here, and I'm still happy. I can go to Books-A-Million for three hours just browsing. SMELLS SO GOOD
4. You throw in the occasional crazy stunt. Not illegal, but internally frightening, like chopping off all your hair, cliff diving, taking a gender studies class as a heterosexual man, walking up to random people and just talking. You don't need to do idiotic things to get an adrenaline rush when you can get it from proactive things. And that, my friend, is how you move on to the next thing:
5. You gradually get rid of bad habits. Note: GRADUALLY. And replace them with good things mentioned above. If you get rid of something, there's a hole there that needs to be filled. So do something productive instead of destructive every time you feel the urge to do the latter, and it'll go away. You can't just stop cold turkey and then beat yourself up every time you relapse. You have to be able to accept that you are imperfect, and that's not magically going to change. As such, you have to learn to FORGIVE YOURSELF. You are worth forgiving. And you can't get better without acknowledging what was previously bad.
I could probably go on forever. I hope those five steps are enough to get at least a few people jump-started on the road to happy living. It's much better on the light side, I promise. We have cheesecake.
Monday, January 14, 2013
What Irks Me Today: Bullsh** Partisan Hatred
Well, sorry it's been eleven days. In the past few days alone I've spent two full days at BSU competing in a debate tournament (Superior in Lincoln Douglas woop woop!) and all of today lobbying healthcare legislation in the capitol (learned Senator Hagedorn lives just down the road from me). But today has brought up something that has always pissed me off: hatred of political beliefs other than one's own.
I'm going to lay it all out. I am SUCH a Libertarian. I would consider myself liberal (You know, classical liberalism, that protection of liberty and support of the free market and individual rights thing that America was founded on? Sorry friends, liberal DOES NOT=Democrat.) and even radical sometimes. But you know what? I have approximately a bazillion Republican friends, just as many Democrats, even some Socialists and Anarcho-communists. And I respect the vast majority of those beliefs. You know why? Because they have reasons for what they believe, examples, the like. I don't agree with a lot of things they say. Heck, I don't agree with some portions of America's Libertarian party platform. But if you can reasonably tell me why you believe what you do, I will have profound respect for you.
What I DON'T have respect for is people telling me that my beliefs (or those of other people) are wrong with ZERO support. I will NOT stop hanging out with my Democrat friends just because you believe "they're wrecking our country" or "are wiping their butt with the Constitution". I love them. And I don't care. You making inflammatory statements and getting all frustrated when I ask you for some evidential support of your beliefs does absolutely nothing but make me think that your brain has been fully formed by the influence of others. Which is pathetic, in case you were wondering.
I love hating on the current President just as much as the next guy. Actually I don't, because that's a really hard job. But may I point out:
FDR was a Democrat. And he saved our sorry asses after the war. Federal reserve? Complete social reform? Yeah, that was him. Think about that when you're saying all Democrats (Not liberals.) are something bad.
Nixon was a Republican. See above.
Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. He stopped that thing called, you know, slavery. The Civil War. Think about that when you're saying all Republicans (Not conservatives, because while, for instance, Romney is a Republican, he's a pretty dang liberal Republican. There's also Log Cabin Republicans, who are pro LGBT rights, and there are some Republicans who are pro-choice. Lay off.) are something bad.
Clinton was a Democrat. See above.
Now that I've adequately shown you that party has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH PERSONAL CHARACTER, I'd like you to consider NOT bashing other people's beliefs. I'll be as liberal, or as conservative, as I want. And you can't change that. Another thing to consider - don't talk politics with family, especially when they fall under the category above. (There are a select few exceptions. My uncle Lisle is the most well-versed Republicans I know. And again, that's worthy of respect.) It just makes them think you're some tree-hugger beatnik Robin Hood of social welfare (or a gun-loving, NASCAR attending, well, you know) regardless of how moderate you are, and makes you lose respect for their level of intelligence. Neither of those are good paths to take.
While we're at it, same principle goes for other religions, other modes of study, other choices of dress, culture, the like. DIVERSITY MAKES THE FREAKING WORLD GO ROUND. So appreciate it instead of knocking it. I'll be moving back to some inner city or foreign country happily in a few months, because I actually very much enjoy experiencing other cultures. If that's not your thing, stay in the very white West. But you have zero right to say anything negative about a people, religion, or culture that you don't know about. So next time you think they're weird, ask them what they ACTUALLY believe or do, then realize that they have huge misconceptions about you too, and as a result, bond over mutual strangeness.
I feel much better getting that off my chest. Goodnight.
<3 Moriah
I'm going to lay it all out. I am SUCH a Libertarian. I would consider myself liberal (You know, classical liberalism, that protection of liberty and support of the free market and individual rights thing that America was founded on? Sorry friends, liberal DOES NOT=Democrat.) and even radical sometimes. But you know what? I have approximately a bazillion Republican friends, just as many Democrats, even some Socialists and Anarcho-communists. And I respect the vast majority of those beliefs. You know why? Because they have reasons for what they believe, examples, the like. I don't agree with a lot of things they say. Heck, I don't agree with some portions of America's Libertarian party platform. But if you can reasonably tell me why you believe what you do, I will have profound respect for you.
What I DON'T have respect for is people telling me that my beliefs (or those of other people) are wrong with ZERO support. I will NOT stop hanging out with my Democrat friends just because you believe "they're wrecking our country" or "are wiping their butt with the Constitution". I love them. And I don't care. You making inflammatory statements and getting all frustrated when I ask you for some evidential support of your beliefs does absolutely nothing but make me think that your brain has been fully formed by the influence of others. Which is pathetic, in case you were wondering.
I love hating on the current President just as much as the next guy. Actually I don't, because that's a really hard job. But may I point out:
FDR was a Democrat. And he saved our sorry asses after the war. Federal reserve? Complete social reform? Yeah, that was him. Think about that when you're saying all Democrats (Not liberals.) are something bad.
Nixon was a Republican. See above.
Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. He stopped that thing called, you know, slavery. The Civil War. Think about that when you're saying all Republicans (Not conservatives, because while, for instance, Romney is a Republican, he's a pretty dang liberal Republican. There's also Log Cabin Republicans, who are pro LGBT rights, and there are some Republicans who are pro-choice. Lay off.) are something bad.
Clinton was a Democrat. See above.
Now that I've adequately shown you that party has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH PERSONAL CHARACTER, I'd like you to consider NOT bashing other people's beliefs. I'll be as liberal, or as conservative, as I want. And you can't change that. Another thing to consider - don't talk politics with family, especially when they fall under the category above. (There are a select few exceptions. My uncle Lisle is the most well-versed Republicans I know. And again, that's worthy of respect.) It just makes them think you're some tree-hugger beatnik Robin Hood of social welfare (or a gun-loving, NASCAR attending, well, you know) regardless of how moderate you are, and makes you lose respect for their level of intelligence. Neither of those are good paths to take.
While we're at it, same principle goes for other religions, other modes of study, other choices of dress, culture, the like. DIVERSITY MAKES THE FREAKING WORLD GO ROUND. So appreciate it instead of knocking it. I'll be moving back to some inner city or foreign country happily in a few months, because I actually very much enjoy experiencing other cultures. If that's not your thing, stay in the very white West. But you have zero right to say anything negative about a people, religion, or culture that you don't know about. So next time you think they're weird, ask them what they ACTUALLY believe or do, then realize that they have huge misconceptions about you too, and as a result, bond over mutual strangeness.
I feel much better getting that off my chest. Goodnight.
<3 Moriah
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Men ARE Better Than Women. Sometimes.
Apparently
my previous post on Facebook about “The Friend Zone” could be misconstrued as
man-bashing. Allow me to clarify. I was bashing on a particularly bad trait
that many men seem to have. I love guys. Here’s a small sampling of why (and
what they’re better than women at):
1. They have pro-status linear thinking. Women can’t even compare. Focus on one thing - think - act. This makes them fabulous leaders in many places, and good at running things. They make the most rational decision and just do it. What women bring to the table to complement this is their web-like thinking. They think of the offshoots that can occur from what the men compute as most rational, and take people’s feelings into account. Does this work in all situations? Heck no. This is why we need men. Yin and yang example #1.
2. They have libidos the size of Mount Everest. I firmly believe the human race would not exist without men for more than just offering half of the chromosomes of the children. First, all the personality traits they bring to the table. Second, (And I don’t speak from personal experience. Whoops! Another revealing statement. Yes, I am open enough to tell the entire internet that there is sexual tension residing in my body as an adolescent human.) apparently many women don’t want sex. Marriage and steady relationships come and it leaves, or so I’m told via statistics and horror stories. Thank you, men, for keeping us around and putting that delicious testosterone in our bodies.
3. They have 2/3 more muscle mass than women. Naturally. No, I can’t open that jar of raspberry preserves, or lift that couch, but I know most males can! Can women build it? Yes, to an extent. But it just naturally occurs in guys and it is VERY beneficial. And we’re thankful for it, believe me. ;D
4. They have natural instincts to provide and protect beyond that of what women have. Most of our troops are men. Why? Because men are willing to put their lives on the line to save others they don’t even know, to fight for an ideal they believe in. There are MANY women who wouldn’t even think about that unless it had to do with someone immediate to them. Women focus on family and friends, nurturing and teaching them, and what affects them; men focus on making sure their family has the resources and safety to function, and what society needs. Yin and yang example #2.
5. They’re risk takers. That linear thinking results in limited inhibitions when reaching a goal. While this can have SERIOUS consequences and often SERIOUSLY worries the ladies, it’s helpful in these ways:
-It’s what causes the discovery of “new” land. HAPPY LEIF ERICKSSON DAY!
-It’s what causes the discovery of “new” anything. NARWHALS!
-It results in potentially successful business plans that most rationally thinking women wouldn’t stick a foot in. APPLE! WINDOWS! LOTS OF OTHERS!
-This results in innovation. APPLE! WINDOWS! LOTS OF OTHERS!
AAAANNND yin and yang example #3 is that women keep those crazy risk takers grounded. We remind them that they’re insane, so they don’t do anything TOO insane. Like jumping off a cliff with nothing to save ‘em but duct tape. Hooligans.
I could go on, but that’s a lot of typing replacing typing my homework. So, as you can see, men are awesome. They do cool stuff women can’t. But women are also awesome, and do cool stuff men can’t. Reconciliation of the battle of the sexes: commence.
PEACE!
Moriah <3
Moriah <3
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