Yes, you read correctly. I do whatever I want. That sounds so rebellious, doesn't it?
Wrong.
Actually, doing whatever I want has made me pretty free. I don't feel obligated to be anyone that I'm not. But I'm not a bad kid. Let me give you examples, I'll tell you straight up. But first, some of the inspiration for this post:
One Million Moms
Parents who are concerned about their kids wearing thongs (See articles all over the interwebs about misinformed parents thinking PINK is targeted at 12 year olds and not the college students it's actually targeted at.) or refuse to let them date certain people or berate them for their hair color choice or really anything else that's part of adolescence and not truly harmful
People who force their beliefs on others
Etc.
Now on to the examples:
-I wear the clothes I want, and sometimes they're pretty weird, but never immodest. I respect my body, so what I want is to clothe it in things I like that aren't hypersexual. But guess what? I'm not going to judge you on your clothing choice.
-I wear lacy thong underwear, even on my period, like now. I don't think that's hypersexual because no one can see it but me. They're comfortable. There are no panty lines. So really, they're more modest than people whose underwear you can see, I think. I'm glad my parents don't govern the clothes I wear or the panties I choose because it means I learned to make the choices on my own and don't resent them as much as some other kids.
-I just told you I'm on my period. It's getting crazy in here.
-Along that line, I've never had sex. Do I want to? Not yet. I'm waiting til I get married. If I wanted to, I would. But I don't, because I'm religious by choice.
-Oh look, I'm religious. In a culture where "doing what you want" has the context of being some crazy carnal drunken sex machine, I go to church. Because I want to.
-I'm not getting married yet, because I don't want to. It doesn't feel right for me to marry as young as other girls. It may be right for them, and I'm happy for them, but it's so not for me.
-I'm also not having kids til after I finish med school. That means in Mormonia, I'll be an old maid in my upper twenties. But I don't care.
-I'm going to be a psychiatrist. A woman with an MD? SUPER crazy. I also have several ideas for when I have enough money to develop and innovate technology that helps the world we live in.
-I cut my hair to an inch short because I felt like it. I wasn't afraid of losing my femininity, or of what others would think. I like it, I never have to pull it out of my face.
-I eat the food that I want. In moderation, of course, but I'm not going to relegate my life to cottage cheese so that I'm slave to a scale.
-I exercise because I like it. I was on swim team for 6 years, now I walk 3+ miles at least 3-4 times a week and do yoga.
-I don't drink or do drugs because I don't want to. It just grosses me out, man.
-I'm going to the library (my homeland) in a few minutes. On purpose. For leisure.
See how doing what I want means there are few stereotypes I fit in? I'm not a stereotypical Mormon. I'm not a stereotypical woman. I'm not a stereotypical teenager. In fact, I don't know of very many people who share the same perspective on the world as I do. Pretty much any of them. But because I don't subjugate myself and my actions to anyone else, I am happy. I do what I'm supposed to religiously because I WANT TO. Not because I've been told to. My ambition stems from being who I want to be, and that's much stronger than being who anyone else wants me to be.
Which definitely clarifies how I intend to parent. When my family was very tight on the reins, I hated all of their guidance, and instead did stupid things to alienate myself from that. When they became pretty permissive, and let the world teach me, I started doing the right thing because I wanted to. I firmly believe that you teach your children correct principles, set out a reasonable amount of rules with clear consequences, and then let them free to learn. (And let them be free to come back, and make it very clear that you love them no matter what.) You don't have to worry about what society tells your kids if you raise them to not listen to it and make their own choices! Stop focusing on what big bad companies are doing and instead focus on your kids; bad corporate people are NEVER going away. We live in a world that is continually getting more "morally unsound". Protesting it doesn't fix it. Families teaching their children well fixes it. But that's just my opinion. And, you know, the opinion of a lot of religious and secular leaders.
The beauty of it is that none of you have to do that. You don't have to agree with me. You don't even have to read this. You can also do whatever you want. You can get high off your... butts... (I'm trying to kick swearing. I read an article stating that the pain reduction and shock value benefits decrease if you overuse it. And it just makes some people uncomfortable; I'll try not to assault your ears/eyes.) on LSD if you so choose. I personally don't think that's what makes for real happiness, but if that's what you want, that's your deal. Choosing for yourself is something that you can use to enhance your life or to make it a personal hell, whatever that is for you.
This blog is turning into some kind of personal empowerment thing. My motto is turning into "love, don't judge". I'll also probably get a coexist bumper sticker on the back of my little station wagon. "What a liberal," my parents will say. "How did we conceive her?" And I am/will do it because I want to.
PEACE
-Moriah
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