Now before you get your panties and/or boxers in a twist, I am not a lipstick feminist, a new wave feminist, etc. I don't burn my bras, I don't hate men, I don't think women are BETTER than men. I follow the classical path and think that women should have equal rights and opportunities wherever possible (whether they choose to take them or not) and be respected for their skills. Ain't that a crazy idea. It's been around for hundreds of years and people still can't seem to absorb it. Anyway, on to the real topic of this post.
I'm more than glad I started this blog so I don't get preachy on other people's Facebook posts. Not because their opinion is wrong, opinions can't be wrong, but there's usually something that greatly concerns me therein. And Facebook for most people is a terrible arena to offer life-related information, ironically. So here, people can read what I think if they choose, and if not, they can go on their merry way not knowing anything about how I see the world and also not being irritated by it. In this post's case, the inspiration was an article linked by Josie Rigby about modesty, a very obvious aspect of LDS culture/the gospel. (Article Here) Like I said, I respect everyone who agrees with the author's point of view, but I take a VERRRYYYYY different stance.
In the piece, there are some good points, like supporting women who wear modest swimwear by noting that they don't do it out of self-consciousness, but out of self-respect. That I totally agree with. That's why I wear one-pieces most of the time. I have respect for my very... voluptuous body and accept that it's easier and more practical to wear one-pieces. But 1. I have no problem with girls wearing less if they so choose, because to me, the stomach isn't a very sexual organ, and it is THEIR CHOICE. 2. People as stacked as me wear bikinis all the time, so I could do it, I just don't want to, because I'd fall all out of it.
The points I really didn't agree with, I'll elaborate on individually.
A. That it's a sacrifice, because bikinis are cute/people want to wear bikinis. (Whether it should be a sacrifice is what I focus on.)
B. That we should dress modestly to help the very visual boys out.
A. I really don't think it should be a sacrifice. I don't want to wear bikinis. If I did, I would. It's not self-respect if you'd rather be wearing something else, it's personal subjugation to say you have self respect. And it's putting down other girls who do have self respect but choose to wear bikinis by suggesting that you have to wear a one-piece or tankini to respect your body. If you're being modest because of religion it STILL shouldn't be a sacrifice. If following commandments is your goal, then do it wholeheartedly, don't wish you were able to do something else, jeez. If someone truly understood the reason behind a modesty clause in any religion, they wouldn't even want to wear what most of society wears. I feel like if you don't do things for love of God or real understanding of why they're in place, that you're just going through the movements - checking off followed rules, if you will.
B. This is a dangerous idea. Mortally terrifying, actually. The idea that women should dress for men placed into any context scares the living daylights out of me. Here's why.
- This turns into the argument that rape victims are to blame because they dressed "provocatively" and thereby "deserved it" and other such arguments. Like that women should be stoned or have acid thrown in their face.
- This makes men look like incapable of self-control, carnal beings who just want all the sex all the time. I know in my heart that guys who are taught well CAN control themselves, and everyone else making a bad name for them is being pacified by this idea.
- Guys put just as much on display on the beach! Literally every attractive body part they have! Frequently their pants are down low enough to see landscaping! NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THIS. Why are men the only sexual beings in this world? They want women to be good in bed and keep it coming during marriage but don't accept that they see things too. No one tells them to put a shirt on. You know WHY no one tells them? Because they're men. They're in charge of who tells people what. The other reason? Because women have self control and can handle people doing what they want. Get with the program, men. This makes you look bad, not us. I know you can do it.
- *See post about slut shaming* I've already spoken a little about this earlier in this post, and in others. WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE JUDGED (whether thought of as bad people, or speculated about as far as sexual activity) FOR WHAT THEY CHOOSE TO PUT ON THEIR BODY. Gosh.
Summary of what SHOULD happen?
Ladies, wear whatever swimwear you want. But don't tell other people what to wear. And don't do it because you want to support supposed male inadequacy. Or because you feel forced to.
Guys, get a spine and self-control, if you don't have it, and if you do, use it proudly. And feel free to wear a shirt at the beach if you expect modesty out of women. Two way street, people.
Have a lovely day,
Moriah
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